Fading Blossom
by Hospitable-Insanity
Summary: Walking home one evening in the pouring rain Japan meets England. Soon after, their love blossoms and grows. But when Japan falls ill and England is shipped to sea by his Boss, the odds for our lovers drastically fall out of their favor. With deceit and sorrow filling the air will the two countries make it through? AsaKiku NOT A TRAGEDY ENDING! I would have to shoot myself - -
1. First Sight

Fading Blossom

AsaKiku fanfic by: Hospitable Insanity

Disclaimer: Sadly enough I do not own the rights to Hetalia or any of its wonderful characters :'(

Chapter one: First Sight

Japan was walking home to his house one evening in the rain without an umbrella. He was drenched to the bottom layer of his kimono, shivering as he slowly made his was down the dark street.

*Oh my, how terrible I feel* he thought. He paused in his step and sneezed loudly, *If I do not make it home soon, I will catch cold and die.*

He continued walking, his vision becoming blurry. The shy country didn't notice as he ran into another country standing in the road in front of him.

"Gomen-nasai," Japan coughed quietly.

Japan looks up; the other country is taller than he, with slightly shaggy short blonde hair and green eyes that sparkled in the dim lighting. His eyebrows are thick, rising at the sound of Japan's voice.

"Oh, um it's fine. I was the stupid one who was talking to his friends in the middle of the street," the country smiled sweetly.

Japan looked around him expecting to see other countries, but there was only empty air.

"Nani, there is nobody there?" he sneezes again.

The other country shrugs, "they must have left then. I am England, United Kingdom. You are?"

"England? Konnichiwa, I am Japan, Nihon. "

„What are you doing out in this weather? You don't even have an umbrella." England shifts his umbrella to where it covers both him and Japan.

Japan looks down, "I was on my way home when it started to rain."

He coughs again; his vision is so blurry now that he cannot see England's face. He starts to sway; England drops his umbrella and catches Japan before he hits the pavement. England scoops Japan into his arms and carries him on his back across the street and into his house. Inside his Boss is waiting, upon seeing England carrying Japan his mouth falls agape.

"What are you doing Arthur? Picking up stray countries in the middle of the night!"

England stares at his Boss, "I didn't pick him up he found me. It's not the middle of the night, only ten thirty."

Leaving a fuming Boss standing by himself, England carries Japan up the stairs and into the guest bedroom of his house. Laying Japan on the bed he enters the bathroom and gets a robe off the hook on the door and a wet wash-cloth. He returns, shaking Japan's shoulder lightly.

"Mr. Japan wake up,"

Japan's eyes open half-way he turns to look at England.

"Hmm, nani, what has happened?" he looks around, "Oh my! I seem to have caused you a great deal of trouble England-san. I am terribly sorry."

England laughs, shaking his head, "it's no trouble, but you must get out of those wet clothes before you catch pneumonia."

He hands Japan the rode and watches him carefully as Japan enters the bathroom to change.

*"What are you going to do Iggy?"* a flying green rabbit asks.

"Oh Flying Mint Bunny! Didn't notice you there ole-chap," he looks at the bathroom door, "I'm not quite sure what I'm going to do, I haven't felt this way since Amer….. Well, ever."

Japan comes out of the bathroom then wearing an orange robe in place of his navy kimono, the rabbit vanishes.

"Arigatou England-san, I am very grateful that you have opened your home and helped me." Japan gives a slight bow then goes into a fit of coughing.

"Hey now, don't stress yourself," England guides Japan back to the bed, pulling back the covers.

Japan lies down and England puts the damp cloth on his forehead, "There, rest here for tonight and you'll feel better in the morning."

Japan blushes and looks away, "Arigatou." He closes his eyes a listens as England leaves, shutting the door behind him. He falls asleep minutes later with the image of England in the rain flooding his dreams.

England sighs as he stands outside the door that separates him and Japan. Truth be told he wasn't in the rain by chance, he had seen the quiet country walking home that way before.

*Since the first time I had seen him all those years ago, I can't seem to get him out of my head. I'm just happy he bumped into me and not France…or Russia, he's so small America may even be able to overpower him.* England shakes his head to dispel the thoughts.

Turning from the door he walks down the hallway into his bedroom, still thinking about the shy, blushing country as he falls asleep.

~END chapter~ 3


	2. Of Cups of Soup and Sorry

Chapter two: Of Cups of Soup and Sorry

Japan wakes from sleep unwillingly.

*What a strange and wonderful dream...*

He sits up, the cloth from earlier falling from its place atop his head.

*England-san was so kind to let me spend the night...*

A knocking at the door makes Japan jump, "Oh! Hai!" he squeaks.

England comes in carrying a tray with tea and a bowl of steaming broth.

"How are you this morning? Better I hope." He asks, sitting the tray on the bedside table.

"Oh yes," Japan says quietly, "I feel much better, there is no longer a koto drum in my head." He gives England a small smile.

England turns to the tray to hide his no red face. Filling a cup he hands it to Japan who takes it with both hands.

"Arigatou."

Taking a sip of the tea, Japan asks, "What type of tea is this England-san?"

England looks at the tea-pot, "Earl Grey I'm fairly sure."

"It's very good."

"It's my favorite. Do you drink tea at your house?" England asks.

"Oh hai, though it is only green tea. My Boss closed off trade for a couple hundred years. It's all we have."

England cocks his head, "Why did your Boss close off trade?"

Japan closes his eyes, "He was frightened about Western culture destroying our way of life."

Pouring himself a cup of tea England laughs to himself, *look at us, bonding over tea.*

"So Japan, why were you walking to your house so late at night?"

Finishing his tea and sitting the cup on the table Japan turns to England, "My Boss opened trade up a couple weeks ago, and I've been out looking for trading partners."

"Who all did you ask?"

"Italy, but after learning that I do not have pasta he refused. America said 'I dunno, gotta ask my Boss, but I'm a hero so maybe,' whatever that means. I was too nervous to ask Russia or Germany. Those are the only countries I met so far."

Japan looks down, England has an idea.

"I'll be a trading partner if you like," he smiles at Japan.

Japan's head shoots up. "Nani? You would be my trading partner?"

England laughs, "Sure, every country needs a partner."

Japan blushes, "Um, Arigatou England-san. This means a lot to me."

England rubs the back of his neck, "It's no problem Japan, and it would be an honor." He looks at the bowl sitting on the tray, "Oh, this is yours, some soup to help you feel better."

He hands the bowl to Japan who takes it and drinks it slowly.

Japan sighs, "It is very good England-san."

*He likes my soup!* England thinks to himself.

Japan finishes the soup, holding the bowl in his lap he says, "I think it best that I leave now, my Boss must be thinking that I have been captured," he frowns then sets the bowl on the tray.

England can just barely contain his disappointment, he feigns a smile, though it does not reach his eyes, "Oh, I guess you do have to leave. I'll walk you home if you like."

Japan blushes again, "You don't have to do that, I'm fine really. Do not trouble yourself over me."

England rests his hand on Japan's shoulder, "I insist. What kind of friend, or country, would I be if I let you go off by alone when your still net well," he smiles and picks up the tray, walking to the door he says, "I had you kimono cleaned, it's handing on the hook in the bathroom."

England leaves the room.

Japan stares at the empty space England was just filling. *Arigatou…friend* He smiles and gets out of the bed, entering the bathroom to change.

England drops the tray of dishes in the kitchen then walks into the hallway. Sitting on the floor and resting his head on the wall he sighs, closing his eyes.

"You like his don't you?" a small voice sings.

England doesn't bother opening his eyes, "go away Tink I'm not in the mood right now. I'm quite sure that Captain Hook would like some of your 'dust' right now, if you're 'big' enough that is."

The fairy that only England can see flies away with a "humph!"

*Is she right though, do I like Japan? In a way that's different from just a business partner or a friend?* he opens his eyes when he hears the sound of light footsteps coming down the stairs, looking over England sees Japan looking at him with concern.

"Oh England-san are you feeling well? Why are you sitting on the floor?" Japan asks as he comes to a stop in front of England.

England stands quickly clearing his throat, "It's nothing, just thinking. I'm fine I promise." He laughs nervously.

Japan cocks his head to the right and smiles sweetly at England whose face turns a slight shade of pink,

"That's good. It would be bad if you got ill right after me."

England smiles back, "That would be quite unfortunate wouldn't it?"

He and Japan walk to the door, England opens it and lets Japan exit first.

"Which way is your place?" He asks Japan.

Japan points to the east, "That way, though it may take a couple days to reach it since we must go through Russia and China's territory," he turns to England, "you are positive you want to came with me?"

"Yes, I have been meaning to get away from my place for ages anyhow."

~further along during the travel to Japan's place. ~

"Heay ~ 3 Iggy!" a country wearing a blue suit comes running up to England and Japan. He has shoulder length wavy blonde hair and bright blue eyes, he waves a rose above his head as he comes to a stop.

"Gyaah, go away Frog!" England yells as the other country tousles his hair.

"Awe do not be that way," the country pouts comically.

"WANKER!" England bats the hand away, "Leave France!"

France crosses his arms and sniffs his rose. He looks down and notices Japan who has taken the position of cowering on the ground and covering his head with his arms. A twinkle appears in Frances eyes as he asks England, "Oh ho ho! Who's this England, a friend of yours?"

England blushes. *France you rose bastard…*

"Yes and what of it? What business is it of yours if Japan and I are friends?"

Japan looks up at the mention of his name. Standing slowly he hides behind England.

France sighs, "Ahh! How sweet is she? So shy and innocent ~ 3" He lays his hand on his heart in faux exasperation.

Japan lowers his head, *I am not a she…*

England's mouth falls open in a wide 'o'.

"France…Japan is…a…MAN!"

France leans closer to see Japan better, "Oh my, I see he is a he. He is quite *uke-ish* isn't he?"

England glares at France. He grabs Japans hand and starts walking away quickly.

He whispers back to Japan, "do not look back, do not make eye contact, just…keep…walking."

Japan fallows after England, holding tight to his hand as they walk.

"England-san, what is 'uke-ish'?" He asks.

*Why did France-san call me a girl? Do I look like a girl?*

England trips over his feet when he hears Japans question. Japan runs into his back with an "oomph".

"Uh uke-ish?" England blushes as brightly as Frances rose, "uke-ish is…when a man has a certain quality. Some would call it 'femininity' I for one would rather refer to it as… grace."

He turns around to face Japan.

Japan thinks it over, he _was_ rather short and slender, and he assumed some people would think him a girl at first glance.

"France-san called me a uke because I look like a girl?"

"Look Japan France is a pervert. I would not suggest going around him alone." England warns.

Japan smiles, "Okay England-san. I promise."

The two continue to walk, the sun rising high above their head, they stop at an Italian diner.

"Bonjorno, would you like some pasta?" Italy greets them, his curl bouncing as he nods his head up and down.

"Oi, is it that potato eating bastard again?" his brother Romano (South Italy) asks as he comes to stand beside his brother.

"No you see. It's Japan and England!" Italy smiles wide, turning to Japan he asks, "why are you two traveling together, I didn't know you were friends?"

Japan steps forward," England-san is helping me return home. I was not feeling well recently and he thought it best I do not travel alone." He gives Italy a small bow.

Italy frowns," You're not feeling well? Then you should eat pasta!"

He and Romano run off to the kitchen, leaving Japan and England to find a booth in the back of the diner to sit in. They take their seats across from each other.

"So how do you know Italy Japan?" England asks. He leans forward and rests his chin in his palm.

Japan clears his throat, "Italy-san, Germany-san and I were once part of a group called 'Axis'."

England cocks his head, "Axis? What were you trying to do?"

"Germany-san wanted power; he wanted to be like Italy-sans grandfather Rome. I was helping him for a time."

"Are you taking about Grandpa Rome?" Italy comes back carrying two plates piled high with noodles and red sauce.

"I was just telling England-san about Axis," Japan takes a bite of pasta.

"Oh that was fun, I made everybody white flags!" Italy laughs. He returns to the back of his shop leaving England and Japan alone.

England turns back to Japan, "I think I remember that. I was part of the Allies with China, Russia, America and France I think."

*It was also the first time I saw you…*

"Wasn't America-san the leader?" Japan asks.

"Oh goodness no! He was just a stupid, big-headed, burger eating git!" England laughs.

Japan laughs quietly. *He's very humorous.*

The two finish their meal; England pays Romano as they get up to leave.

Italy pulls Japan off to the side, "Japan… do you have a crush on England?"

Japans face turns pink, "Uh, no of course not. We are a business partner that is all."

He laughs nervously and hurries after England.

As Italy watches after his friend a thought strikes him, *Japan likes someone. Never before, even in Axis, has he ever talked as much, so openly and freely…pasta!"

~ End Chapter 3~


	3. Crushing on Thoughts

Chapter Three: Crushing on Thoughts

"Here we are," Japan stops in front of a large Asian architecture house, "my place."

He turns to England, "Since I stayed at your place for the night it is only polite for me to ask you to stay at mine, if you wish."

England's ears get warm at the suggestion, "Thank you Japan. It would be an honor to stay at your place."

Japan bows, "Arigatou England-san. My ancestors are most pleased by you," he turns and enters his house, "please remove your shoes."

England takes off his shoes and places them beside Japan's on the floor. He fallows him down a short hallway decorated with cherry blossom limbs and bamboo, up a flight of stairs, around a corner, until Japan halts in front of a panel in the wall.

"This is the guest rom. It has a view of the koi pond and Mount Fuji-Yama. My bedroom is right next door."

He slides the panel open quickly and steps to the side so that England can enter first.

The room is plain, but not drab. A simple futon/pallet on the floor, a large window overlooking said pond and mountain, a large folding screen in the corner. On the wall above the futon are three folding fans, the walls themselves are a deep blue/green like the ocean.

England turns back to Japan who come into the room after him, "Thank you Japan, the room looks lovely."

Japan smiles, "Since the journey was so long I wonder if you would like to take an open air bath with me? Have you ever had one?"

England thinks a moment, "No, I do not believe I have."

"Fallow me," Japan walks back down the stairs to the back of the house where giant glass doors open to a fenced in 'pond' filled with steaming water. He passes the doors and walks into a small room beside it.

"Leave your clothes in a basket there, the towels are here," he picks two towels up and hands one to England.

England nods and takes the towel. He unbuckles his belt and unbuttons his shirt, taking both off and setting neatly folded in a basket. Japan unties his obi and slips off his yukata.

England looks at Japan from the corner of his eye. The other countries skin is pale, his boxers black like his hair. He is slender, no trace of excess fat on him, yet he is not very muscular either. He's short, and when he bends down to remove his boxers England looks away hurriedly.

Japan ties his towel around his waist, taking the moment to glance at England. England is taking his feet out of his pants; his boxers are a deep maroon. His body toned and tan, and when said toned and tan body bends to pull off his boxers Japan turns his head back to tying his towel.

Both countries stand back to back wrapped in a towel with awkward thoughts going through each of their minds. Japan is the first to turns and takes a step towards the doors. England soon fallows, standing beside Japan at the great glass doors a few yards away from the bath.

"The bath is fed by a hot spring whose water I have pumped here," Japan says. He takes a few steps forward walking to the edge of the bath.

"Wow, that's interesting," England starts after Japan. He slips on a wet stone.

Japan turns around, "yes it i…"

England lands on top of Japan.

Their lips connect.

Japan's eyes widen. England hurries to pick himself up, turning away from Japan to hide his red face. Japan sits up, touching his bottom lip gingerly with his fingers. There is a tingling sensation in his chest and his cheeks are flushing strawberry pink.

"Um…uh" England stammers. *How could I have been so clumsy!* He berates himself.

Japan stands slowly. He puts his hand on England's shoulder and turns him around to face him. Standing on the tips of his toes he presses his lips against England's…

England's mind goes blank; his eyes widen when Japan reaches up and kisses him on the mouth. After a half second the shock disappears. He closes his eyes and cups Japan's face with one hand, the other is one the small of his back, pulling his closer. Japan runs his hands along England's chest and they part, panting slightly.

Japan looks down, "G-gomen-nasai…" he starts, but England puts his finger over his mouth.

"No, don't apologize. If anyone needs to say he's sorry it's me," He pulls Japan's face up to look at him. England smiles sweetly and Japan smiles back.

England pulls Japan into the bath with him by his hand. They walk until they are waist deep in the steaming water.

"So what now?" England asks.

Japan's blush deepens, "I…I do not know. What do people normally do in situations like this?"

"They… well," England pauses, "they 'date' I guess."

Japan rolls the word around in his head, *Date England-san? England-san be my boyfriends?* he shifts his weight from one foot to the other. He nods, "Hai, but we may want to keep it to ourselves for the time being."

"Right, the next World Conference is next week. If we told everyone no work would get done and they wouldn't leave us alone."

Japan looks up at the sky; the sun is setting turning everything orange and yellow, "What is you real name England-san?"

England, looks at the sky as well, "Arthur, Arthur Kirkland, yours?"

"Kiku Honda."

~End Chapter 3~


	4. Utopia Falling Up

Chapter Four: Utopia Falling Up

England opens his eyes. Still groggy from sleep he doesn't register the unconscious body resting on his chest. He looks down. Japan's head is on his shoulder, his arm draped across England's bare chest. He was asleep, his nose twitching once, twice.

England brings his hand up and strokes Japan's cheek with the back of it, he stops when the sleeping country starts mumbling.

"Arthur-kun…"

He pulls his hand away quickly, startled, *Oh Kiku…* he thinks.

Japan groans, opening his eyes he looks up at England.

"Ohayo Arthur-chan," he whispers.

England smiles, "good morning," he says and kisses Japan on the forehead.

Japan sits up, stretching his arms above his head. His hair is messy, England sees it and blushes. Japan looks at England, seeing his blush brings memories from the night before to the front of his mind. He turns to look out the window and sighs. England has to return to his place today to prepare for the World Conference the next Monday. Japan didn't like to see him leave so soon after discovering the feelings that they share. England rubs Japans back and puts his chin on his shoulder.

"Kiku, what's wrong?" He asks softly.

Japan turns around and smiles, "Nothing is wrong _kawaikochan_," he stands up, then sits down when he realizes he's nude. His cheeks turn pink.

England laughs, and makes a show of turning the other way, "go ahead, I won't look."

Japan kisses the top of England's head before running out of the guest room and into his bedroom. England stands when he hears the panel slide shut, he looks around the room to locate his clothes, once found he puts them on. Turning back to the mess of blankets on the floor and the fallen folding fan from off the wall, images flash through his head,

He shakes his head vigorously, *get ahold of yourself England, don't be such a ninny!" He adjusts the cuff of his uniform sleeve then walks out of the room.

~Japan runs into his room and slides the door shut. He leans against the wall and sinks to the floor. Hyperventilating at first then going into a fit of insane laughter, *I cannot believe It! I like a country and he likes me and we…*

Japan smiles deviously, standing slowly he walks to his closet pulling out his white uniform and a new pair of boxers. He dresses quickly and combs his hair down to its normal flatness walking out of the room with a composed face when finished.

England slides the door shut behind him, walking down the stairs he hears Japan in the kitchen.

"Oh England-kun, I', making rice balls with the pickled plum. Would you like some?" Japan says placing a plate with a small pyramid of the triangle shaped balls of rice on the table.

England smiles, "Yes, thank you."

"Help yourself, I'll finish the tea," Japan turns back to the counter and starts preparing a bento box for England's return home.

The tea kettle whistles loudly, making Japan jump and drop a handful of rice. He looks back between the stove and the floor, not sure which to fix first.

England gets up and puts his hand on Japan's shoulder," I'll get this; you take care of the tea."

Japan nods and turns away hurriedly, attempting to hide his freshly reddened face. England bends down and scoops the rice into his palm, throwing it away and wiping his hand on a napkin. Japan hands his a cup of hot tea and they sit at the table side by side.

England takes a drink of the tea, "Is this the green tea you spoke of?" he asks.

Japan nods, "Hai, I've been growing this tea leaf for over 400 years," he sips, "maybe more. I can't remember clearly."

"Well no matter how old it may be, it's better than mine," England raises his cup, "To good tea and relationships."

They clink their cups together.

Tea finished, cups sitting in the sink, Japan stands, "I guess you have to leave, I'll see you to the door."

"Oh yes, thank you," England walk together to the front door, England slips on his shoes.

"Oh my," Japan runs back into the kitchen and grabs the boxed lunch from its place on the counter top. "Here," He holds it out to England who takes it with both hands.

England sets the box on the ground and takes Japan's face in his hands. He looks into his deeps brown eyes for a moment then leans down and kisses him on the mouth. Japan wraps his arms around England's waist, burying his face in his chest after they part. The Tears flow silently down his cheeks as England pulls him closer.

Resting his chin on Japans head he whispers, "Don't cry Kiku. It will be alright, I promise. It matters not how far apart our bodies are for our hearts are forever together."

Japan nods, but doesn't let go. Since that morning he struggled to keep his emotions in check, to not let England see how upset he was. Now, he just couldn't hold it in anymore.

"Arthur-kun…" he sobs.

"It's fine. Don't speak; your words would only betray how you really feel at moments like these. I know how you feel. I will right to you every day as soon as I am able. I will miss you far more than you know…I…I…I love you Kiku."

Japan clutches the material of England's uniform, "Aishiteru Arthur-kun," he looks up at England, "I love you too."

The smile on England's face, widening at Japan's words, reaches almost from ear to ear. He looks into the shorter countries eyes, still shimmering from the tears, and leans his forehead against Japan's. Japan closes his eyes enjoying the tender moment. In all his years of knowing England, he knew him as an ass. Hoe-headed and irritable, but now he realizes that England was caring, romantic even.

The sun rises further into the sky, birds chirp wildly. Japan and England slowly part, hands intertwined.

England frowns, "I must be going now if I am to make it home before the conference," He picks up the boxed lunch.

Japan smiles sweetly, "Okay, I will see you there." He stands on his tip-toes and gives England a peck on the cheek.

England looks at Japan softly and runs the back of his hand along Japan's jawline.

"Be careful. Don't get into trouble." Japan dusts off England's jacket front. He rubs a button between his forefinger and thumb.

England smiles, "I promise, but you must promise me something in return."

Japan looks up confused, "Nani?"

England puts his hands on Japan's shoulders, "Last night when we talked you told me about how your Boss beat you and how you dealt with it. You must promise me, that you will never hurt yourself, that no matter the reason or time that you'll come to me. That you will tell me."

Japan nods slowly, "I… I promise Arthur-chan."

England kisses Japan's forehead, "Good."

He turns to leave, walking down the road. Japan waves, "Sayonara Arthur!"

England waves back, "Good-bye Kiku!"

Japan leans against the door frame, watching as England disappears over the hill and out of his sight. He sighs, looking at the sky.

*I have never felt so content.* he thinks to himself. He closes his eyes; a coy smile plays his lips.

"KIKU, WHERE ARE YOU?" Japan's Boss comes running to his side. Grabbing Japan's wrist he pulls him into the house, "You know that you shouldn't be outside in your condition! I regret sending you out to find business partners, of all the countries out there you find ONE, one! Kami-sama! Get to your room Mr. Honda; it's best for us all if you do."

He lets go of Japan, who once free, falls to the floor and lands heavily on his side. Standing slowly he bows low, walking to his room without a word. Once inside he leans against the wall and draws his knees to his chest. He looks at his wrist, at the red rings left from his Boss's fingers.

*Teme!* Japan sends a mental curse at his Boss.

"Gyaah!" The left side of Japan's body starts spasming roughly. He grits his teeth and waits for the moment to pass, but it continues more violently. His elbow hits the wall with a loud thud and he cries out, holding it close to his side as the rest of his body jumps around.

A knock on the door echoes throughout the room, "Japan. Are you in there? It's me Germany, I'm here with Italy. He said you were sick?" He slides the door open, "Italy wouldn't leave me alone until we checked up on you… Oh Holy Wurst! Are you okay?"

Germany runs to Japan's side, not sure what to do, "Uh. Italy go get his Boss! Tell him what's going on!"

Japan grabs Germany's sleeve, "N-no, don't." he points to the set of drawers by his window, "T-top, blue needle."

Germany nods, "Italy!"

Italy runs to the dresser, grabbing the syringe out of the drawer and tossing it to Germany.

"Where?" Germany asks.

Japan winces, "N-neck."

Germany bites his lower lip, he holds Japan's shoulder to steady him and shoves the needle into his neck, injecting the blue liquid into his bloodstream. Japan's muscles loosen, nerves calm down. He leans his head against the wall, gasping for air.

"Arigatou," Japan says breathlessly. He rubs the back of his neck, seething when he hits the point the needle entered.

Italy stands behind Germany with his mouth hanging open, his eyes are watering, threatening to spill over.

"Japan…" Italy jumps forward, wrapping his arms around Japan's waist, crying into his uniform.

"Italy-san, I-I, please let go of me, I don't like it," Japan tries to unbind Italy's arms from him but to no avail. He looks at Germany pleadingly.

Germany sighs, "Italy! Let go!"

Italy jumps back, landing on his bum and looking at Japan with teary eyes.

Germany looks at Japan, "What the hell was that? Why were you convulsing on the floor?"

Japan twists his feet under him in the seiza position, "Uh, well," he looks down, "I am not the most healthy person in the world. It has been happening since I was smaller. The doctors say that it is nerve damage and muscular seizures. I have never told anyone since it has never been a problem."

"Have you told Mr. England?" Italy asks.

Japan's face turns red and loses its emotionless mask, "Iie, no I haven't told England-san."

Germany looks at Italy, then Japan, then Italy again, "What the hell does England have to do with any of this?"

Italy smiles wide, "Japan and England are friends now, trading partners!"

Germany looks at Japan whose face gets redder with every mention of his boyfriends name, "By the look on Japan's face, I'd say that they were more than trading partners…"

Japan's head shoots up and he claps his hand together, "Please Germany-san. Tell no one. Nobody is supposed to know yet."

*So it's true then. Italy was right for once, they are 'together'.* Germany thinks.

"D-don't worry Japan, your secret is safe with us," he looks at Italy, "right."

"Right!" Italy says.

Japan sighs, "Arigatou."

"But don't you think that he should know? About your condition I mean." Germany asks.

Japan bites his lower lip, "you are right, I will tell him the next time I see him alone."

"At the World Conference?" Italy asks.

"Perhaps, I'm not sure," Japan looks out the window, the sky is a bright blue dotted with puffy white clouds.

*I wonder if he is making it home alright?*

~ "Achoo!" England sneezes. *Someone must be thinking of me…* He looks at the sky, *so blue, Kiku would enjoy It.* he thinks.

England stops walking and lies down on a green hill covered in flowers. He picks a flower examining it, *Chrysanthemum, Kiku…* He closes his eyes, brushing the petals against his lip, *so soft…*

"Nyeeh!" an animal sounds behind England.

England jumps up, tripping over a rock and landing on his bum, "Uni, what are you doing here?"

The unicorn prances around in a circle and picks up a chrysanthemum in his teeth, dropping it at England's feet.

"I know Uni, I know, I miss him too,"

He stands up and scratches the unicorn behind its ear, "Let's go friend."

~*Walks off into metaphorical sunset*~

~End Chapter 3~

Author's note: Oh my, *don't cry, don't cry!*. Yeah, I know Japan doesn't really have all that stuff wrong with him, but I thought it made for a good plot… thing. I derived that from personal experience since all my friends relate me to Japan whenever we watch Hetalia together. I've been pointed out that Japan's voice is really deep, I know this to, but when they met France you have to remember Japan didn't say a SINGLE WORD! Damn you France, pervert of the stars…


	5. Falling Down and Facing Away

Chapter Five: Falling down and Facing Away

Japan's eyes open slowly, *How did I get into bed?* he yawns. He tosses back the blankets.

"My head," He groans.

Japan looks up, staring straight into Italy's face three inches away.

"Ahh, Italy-san! What are you doing there?" He asks wide eyed.

Italy backs away, "Making sure that you don't die in your sleep while Germany makes tea!"

Japan shakes his head, confusion muddles his thoughts, and "How did I get into my bed?"

Italy smiles, "You looked really tired after your twitchy thing so we made you take a ~ * siesta * ~ "

Now that he thought of it, a faint memory did reside in his mind of Germany making him lie down, "Oh, okay then," Is all he says as he sits up and arches his back.

Germany walks in carrying tea cup, "Glad to see you're okay," he says as he passes out said tea.

"Um, yes," Japan mumbles, "what time is it?"

"7 pm, you slept awhile," Italy giggles.

Japan's eyes widen further, could it really be that late? He looks out his window, sure enough, the sun was making its final appearance for the day, "Oh no, I still have all that paperwork to finish before the conference, I-I-," He stands and starts to walk out of the room when Italy puts his hand on his shoulder, stopping him.

"You're not allowed to work when you're stressed out like this. You're going to come with me and Germany and have fun ~**~!"

"It's not good for you to work under these conditions, bad for your health. Even in Axis you were the one who did most of the paperwork. Come with us tonight, the papers can wait until tomorrow," Germany says matter-of-factly after he finishes his tea. He stands and walks to the door.

Japan clenches his fist, not sure how to counter attack what they've said. He gives up, sighing, "Fine, but nothing big please."

~ Bar: Chibitalia ~

"Romano!" Italy yells when he sees his brother, "what are you doing at Chibitalia?"

"Spain and I are here together, a little date," the older Italian gets an evil twinkle in his eyes.

Spain walks up and drapes his arm over Romano's shoulder, "Hey," he says.

"Hello," Germany grunts.

"Potato Bastard!" Romano yells pointing at Germany. He grads Spain's hand and walks into the bar without a second look back.

Japan turns to Germany, "Why did you bring me to a bar?"

"Italy saw it on the way to your place. He wouldn't shut up about it, so here we are," Germany smiles in Italy's direction.

Japan sighs, he really didn't enjoy bars, they were too loud, but he fallowed his companions in without any complaint. Inside it was sparsely lit, there was a long bar with high stools and a few scattered tables. Behind the bar a short man with blonde hair and blue eyes wipes a cup clean.

"Holy Rome!" Italy runs up to the man who blushes terribly, dropping his cup.

"I-Italy, I haven't seen you in ages," Holy Rome stutters when Italy glomps him, "how have you been?"

Italy's smile widens, "I've been amazing! Germany and I got married!"

Japan raises and eyebrow he looks at Germany's hand and sees the silver band on his left ring finger, "Sugoi, congratulations Germany-san," he pats Germany on the back once.

"Thanks, I'm just happy that I was able to talk him out of rings made of pasta noodles," Germany says smiling.

Japan gives a quiet laugh, "Yes, I would assume that wouldn't be a great idea, the edible jewelry I mean."

England walks through the front door of his home, *Finally, after a full night of walking non-stop I'm here…*

He goes up the stairs and into his bedroom, collapsing onto his bed with a deep sigh. Closing his eyes he breathes deeply.

In

Out

In

Out. Breathe. The clock beside his door keeps time with his breath, ticking away the moments until England falls asleep.

He dreams, as all countries do in time of great emotional heights. He dreams of a starry sky, dark navy in color. He lies upon a deep green hill, interrupted by the glow of golden chrysanthemums. A fallen star shoots across the heavens leaving a sparkly silver sheen in its wake. A warm hand slides of his own and he turns to see who it belongs to.

"Kiku…" he whispers.

Dream Japan holds his finger to his lips, signaling for silence. England nods, weaving his fingers with Dream Japan's. The corners of Dream Japan's mouth rise as he comes closer to England. He swings one leg over England's torso, effectively straddling him. England's eyes widen and his mouth goes dry. He starts to speak, but Dream Japan silences him with a passionate kiss. There' a tingling sensation in England's stomach, his pulse begins to race, *Japan has never kissed me like this before…*

Dream Japan runs his hands up England's shirt, leaving a trail of goose bumps where he touches. A low moan escapes England's throat and Dream Japan smirks, traveling lower he starts sucking and kissing at England's throat and neck. England clutches at the material of Dream Japan's blue tee-shirt. Dream Japan makes a noise that's the cross between a soft purr and a menacing growl that sends the feelings in England's stomach lower in his body. Dream Japan giggles when he feels England's "sensation" against his thigh; he lowers his head and brushes his lips along England's collar bone, earning another moan and an even pushier erection from the dreaming country.

England runs his free hand through Dream Japan's hair, he wraps his arm around his waist and flips them both over to where Dream Japan rests under England. Dream Japan's eyes sparkle with energy when England pins one of his arms above his head. England lowers his head, his and Dream Japan's noses touching; he closes his eyes and smiles. The sun rises, casting its rays over the hill and the two lovers. The light touches Dream Japan's body. He smiles mysteriously and his body metamorphoses into millions of chrysanthemum petals, leaving his clothes behind on the ground under England.

England stares wide eyes, not moving, at the remnants of his lover underneath him. Silent tears find their way down his cheeks.

"Kiku!" Non-dreaming England yells as he falls onto the floor in a mess of tangled sheets around his feet. He sits up panting; a sheen of sweat covers his brow. He turns to the clock, 11:00 pm.

*It's okay England, he would be home now. Safe and sound at home."

He untangles himself and walks downstairs to make a glass of warm milk.

"Japan, are you alright?" a flushed Germany asks, slurring slightly.

Japan turns around, the cup of sake in his hand trembles, "Hai, why would I not be?"

"Because you're crying," Germany whispers.

"I am not crying, you are the one who is crying," Japan finishes his drink and sets it on the counter top.

Italy walks over, swaying a little, and sits on Germany's lap, "Romano says that he wanted you to not be like Holy Rome," he hiccups, "you're not allowed to run away."

Germany looks at Italy, he shrugs, "okay Venny." He kisses Italy on the cheek.

Across the room a very drunk France walks up to Russia who is sitting alone in a corner.

"How are you not wasted?" France asks waving a bottle of Merlot, "try the wine, it's fabulous ~ 3"

Russia smiles, "I'm Russian, I don't get drunk easily unless I drink a lot of vodka. It's also more fun to watch you all make fools of yourself when I'm sober. It's quite entertaining to think of all the ways I could easily pound you all to dust in your inebriated states."

France, suddenly sober, turn's white, his jaw drops, "I'm… I'm going to leave now."

Russia laughs, "That may be the best thing for you."

Japan, having overheard the conversation between France and Russia, looks around the room. In another corner Spain and Romano are kissing heatedly, Germany and Italy are whispering to each other romantically. The entire situation is too much for Japan and he walks out of the bar and into the cool night air. He wipes at his eyes with the heel of his hands and they come back wet. He was crying after all, but why though? Was it because he had seen all of the happy couples in the bar doing happy things? Was it because he missed England? Deep inside he knew the answer.

It was both.

~ End Chapter 3 ~

Author's note: I'm terribly sorry for the delay in the update, but I had stuff going on and I didn't have time for writing. I hope you're not too upset with me.


	6. You Say You Want the Truth?

Chapter six: You Say You Want the Truth?

England wakes early, too early to be normal for him. The World Conference is in five hours, but it only takes him on average two hours to arrive on time. The reason for his becoming an "early bird" all of a sudden was because Japan frequently got to the conferences first. England wanted a chance to be alone with him, if even for a short while. He stands, stretching his arms above his head with a yawn.

*Good-morning world…* he thinks as he meanders to his closet and pulls out his light brown suit and dress shoes. Conferences were usually a quiet affair, which he liked, and every country usually dressed casually yet classy. In England's mind, suits were the best thing for such an event.

He dresses quickly, brushing his teeth and combing his hair. Taking a last look in the mirror he walks out of his house, grabbing a small bouquet of lilacs off the table beside the door, and strolls down the street.

~Japan wakes slowly, his head groggy from the effects his latest dream had on him. He had dreamt about England and he, sitting on a hill under a sky filled with millions of shiny stars waiting for the sunrise. His head was leaned against England's shoulder and England's arm was wrapped around him. The dream had been so beautiful in Japan's mind that he had woken in the middle of the night, crying into his pillow.

*At least I will see him today,* he thinks as he dresses in the white suit he had laid out the night before. He walks down to his kitchen where his Boss sits, reading the paper and drinking strong smelling tea.

*Old bastard probably put alcohol in his tea again,* He thinks, "Ohayou-gozaimasu," he murmurs.

His Boss looks up, "Ohayou, heading off to the conference early?"

Japan pours himself a cup of tea with shaky fingers, "Hai, as always."

"Don't be a smart ass towards me Mr. Honda!" Japan's Boss yells, slamming his empty cup on the table.

Japan winces at the sound, "Gomen, I didn't mean to come off as such."

His Boss nods, "Good."

*Kutabatchimae…* Japan smirks at the thought.

His Boss raises an eyebrow, "What the hell is so funny Honda?"

Japan shakes his head, "Nothing important. I'll be leaving now. Good-day to you."

"Hn," his Boss grunts going back to reading the paper.

Japan walks down the hallway, pausing to slip a syringe of his medication into his pocket.

*Just in case…* He thinks, leaving his house without a second look back.

~England opens the wide double doors of the conference building letting out a cool gust of air. He steps inside, hearing the hum of the air conditioning unit.

*Explains the cold,* he thinks.

He steps into the meeting hall, eyes scanning over the large round table, hoping to get a glimpse of Japan bent over paperwork or reading as he usually did. His heart falls when the room turns out empty.

"Arthur-kun?" a soft voice behind England whispers.

England turns to see a smiling Japan carrying a stack of freshly copied papers from the work-room.

"Kiku," he breathes Japans name.

Japan's cheeks turn pink, "Ohayou Arthur-kun." He sets the papers on the table, "how have you been? You look well."

England hands the bouquet in his hands to Japan who lifts them to his nose with a shy smile, "I've been… good. *If being crazy with missing you is considered good…*, "and you?"

Japan's face falls, he places the lilacs beside his papers, "that's I need to speak with you about, before the others arrive," he takes England's hand and pulls him into a room normally used for personal one-on-one business meeting.

"Talk, is everything alright, is something the matter Kiku?" England asks, his brow furrowing in concern.

They sit at the small table; England pulls his chair up beside Japan's, "Tell me?"

Japan puts his hand in his pocket, pulling out the syringe and setting it on the table between himself and England. England stares at the needle, then at Japan. He frowns, confused.

"I'm afraid I don't understand, do you have a drug problem?"

The corner of Japan's mouth twitches into a smile, "Iie," he chuckles, "I'm not addicted to anything, but you're close."

England looks into Japan's eyes. The brown orbs have a twinkled laced with an edge of immense sadness. He holds both his lovers hands between his own, squeezing them firmly.

"Tell me?" he asks again.

Japan gives a shuddery sigh, his eyes brimming with moisture, "Okay," his voice is a whisper.

*He's trying not to cry…* England thinks.

"On that night when we talked, I didn't tell you everything. The reason being that I never thought to tell you, it never crossed my mind. I didn't think it was important at the time," he pauses, looking at the syringe on the table.

England rubs circles into the back of Japan's hand, "Go on luv, please."

Color reaches Japan's pale face at the little pet-name of England's, "I've been having this problem since I was small, since the time China-san took me in. The doctors call it nerve damage; they say it comes from stress, anxiety. It could be life threatening, unless I take that needle, but it's never been that bad before. What it does is cause convulsions throughout my body, making the muscles spasm and contract. The medication calms down the agitated nerves and muscles, keeping them from closing my throat off or doing any other severe damage."

England blinks, his face blank, "So, you're sick."

Japan laughs, "In a matter of speaking yes, I am sick."

*But the real question is if this is a deal breaker for you?* Japan thinks.

England's eyes soften; he places a hand on Japan's cheek, "Thank you for telling me." He closes his eyes and smiles wide.

Japan smiles back, relieved that the worst did not come to pass. The two share a moment of content silence, only broken by America bursting through the door.

"Whoa, hey dudes," he says surprised, "Dang, I was hoping that I was the first one here, too bad huh?"

England unwillingly drops Japan's hand, "America, what are you doing here?"

America hops onto the table," I thought I'd come in here and take a nap, before the others show up."

He slides across the table, knocking Japan's syringe onto the floor. It seems to fall in slow motion, speeding up when it hits the ground in an explosion of glass shards and blue liquid. Silence fallows. A very uncomfortable silence filled only by the gasp from both Japan and England, and the frequent apologies from America.

"Dude, I am sooo sorry." "Totally sorry." "I didn't mean to, I swear."

Japan bends down and starts to pick up the shards of glass, England glares at America with fury.

"You git! Look at what you have done! You have no idea what you've done do you? No, because you're a git!" England starts on a rant towards America, who backs into a corner, fear in his blue eyes.

"I'm sorry man. I-I didn't mean to break whatever it was," America says, cringing when England shoves his finger in his sternum.

"Do you honestly think 'sorry man' is going to fix this?"

"Arthur- kun…" Japan comes to stand behind England, he places a trembling hand on his shoulder, "it's fine, and truly it is. I have more at my place."

"That may be, but what if you happen to have an attack right here and now? You could DIE!" England doesn't avert his gave from the cowering America.

"Die? What the heck was it I broke?" America asks.

"None of your concern America, it would be best that you leave if you enjoy living your pathetic life as it is," England steps back.

America gives a shaky nod, running from the room and shutting the door quickly behind him.

"My brother…. Is the most asinine creature I have ever known to be a country," England grumbles.

Japan wraps his arms around England's torso, leaning his head against his back, "Mhm, it is true that America-san can be a baka at times."

England laughs and shakes his head, "That would be putting it lightly. For the longest of time I was the one who had to tie his shoe laces."

Japan giggles, "But you do know that he didn't mean to break it don't you?" he asks.

"I do, I probably shouldn't have been so hard on him either, but he can be so thickheaded sometimes that he just brings it out of me." He sighs, "You think that I should go apologize?"

"I think it would be for the best, I'll wait here while you do."

England turns and kisses Japan swiftly on the lips. Mouthing a quick 'I love you' before leaving in search of his younger brother. Japan leans against the table smiling to himself. He leans his head back, stretching the sore muscle when it happens. His legs give out from beneath him and he falls on his side in a seizing heap.

*Kami-sama, why? Why now of all times?* He grits is teeth to keep from crying out as his shoulder connects with his jaw. He needed help, his airway becoming narrower every time he exhales. His leg kicks a chair, knocking it into the wall with a thud. He attempts to pull his wallet out of his pocket and put it between his teeth to keep himself from biting his tongue, but to no avail. The doorknob turns, whoever it is behind it tries to open it, but since Japan is on the floor in front of it, it bangs him in the head. His will breaks and he cries out, his vision going dark from lack of oxygen.

"Kiku, is everything alright? I heard something fall. America's fine now, I cleared everything up with him," England tries the door again, hitting Japan in the back this time. When Japan doesn't answer he opens the door as far as it will go, and squeezes himself inside.

Japan whimpers, a single tear falls down the side of his face. England falls onto his knees beside him.

"Kiku? Oh god, can you hear me? I'm going to try to lift you okay?" England waits, but Japan doesn't say a word.

He braces himself, cradling Japan in his arms. Japan grabs the material of England's jacket with his fist, breathing short breathes of air between clenched teeth.

"Hold on, I'm going to take you to the hospital," England says. He runs out of the room into the main meeting hall. Every country is present now and they turn their heads when England and Japan burst through the door.

"What's wrong with Japan?" Greece asks.

"What's happened to him?" Switzerland pleads.

England answers none of the questions that bombard him, only runs past them, out of the building and into the street. The sky, now dark from a thick blanket of clouds, sheds tears. England doesn't notice, doesn't care, he just runs.

*Please let it not be too late…* he begs. Japan's breath comes slower now, shallower. He runs faster.

The pitter patter of England's shoes as they hit the wet ground is all that Japan registers in his head. He can't see, though he knows his eyes are open, can't speak, to tell whoever carries him that he can't breathe. Soon his hearing fails him, his brain giving all of its energy to keep his lungs working though the way through his throat is so small. He can feel something in his hands and he holds onto it tightly, scared that if he lets go he may not have the strength to ever be able to hold back on.

England reaches the doors of the hospital, they slide open automatically. The nurse at the front desk looks up, she sees Japan in England's arms.

"I need a stretcher up here quick!" she yells into a phone.

Moments later two more nurses and a doctor come running through the doors of the emergency room pulling a gurney behind them. England lays Japan on his back on the gurney. He tries to pry Japan's hand away from his coat, but gives up when he notices it's futile. He takes off his coat and lays it over Japan. One of the nurses places an oxygen mask over Japan's mouth and they wheel him into the emergency room. England starts to fallow after but the doctor places his hand on his chest, stopping him.

"Stay here Sir. Let us do our job, he'll be fine, "The doctor releases England and runs after the two nurses with Japan.

The nurses at the front desk looks at England, who after running so far is panting heavily, "Please have a seat in the waiting room, we will contact you when there is any news about your friend."

"He's not my friend," England says.

"I'm sorry," the nurse furrows her brow.

"He's not just my friend; he's my soul mate," England falls to his knees, head bent, tears falling from his cheeks onto his fisted hands.

~End Chapter 3~

I'm crying now, all of my feels! The characters are taking things into their own hands now, it's like I'm not the one writing this fanfic anymore. I hope you like this chapter and will continue to read.


	7. Unwanted Dystopia

Chapter seven: Unwanted Dystopia

England sits in the waiting room like he has for hours. No one has told him any different; every time he asks how Japan is doing it's always the same.

"Give him time, he'll be around soon enough." "His heart rate is normal, but he hasn't woken up yet." "He twitched his fingers, though has yet to regain consciousness."

Each time England hears the words 'he hasn't woken, hasn't regained consciousness', it makes his heart fall. He got word that the World Conference ended hours ago; nobody mentioned Japan or himself running off like that. He was glad for that at least, no unwanted company trying to console him, trying to no avail to make him feel better. He could still feel Japan's labored breathing on his neck, his breathing that became more and more faint with each mile he had ran. He could still feel Japan convulsing in his arms, and him being unable to do anything about it. The doctors say he was lucky that England had gotten him here when he did, any longer and the earth would be short one country. A finger taps England on the shoulder and he looks up from his hands.

"Any news, good, bad, is anything different?" He asks the doctor who had pulled him out of his mental brooding.

The doctor shakes his head, "He's still unconscious, but he was mumbling something about a man named Arthur, and lilacs. I assume that you may know who that is since you are the one who brought him here?"

England stands up quickly, "Yes, that's me, I'm him! I'm Arthur Kirkland!"

The doctor smiles, "Since his condition is stable, I can safely say that he can be allowed visitors for a time."

England's eyes widen, "You mean to say that I can see him?"

"Yes, but please refrain from making any loud noises or anything that may upset him. His condition may be stable now, but I'm not sure if it will stay that way for long," the doctor looks down at the floor.

England frowns, "What you mean is… is that at any time he could…"

The doctor nods solemnly, "He wasn't very healthy to start out with, his body was weak before, this latest attack damaged his heart and left lung. We're all surprised that he lasted as long as he did," he puts his hand on England's shoulder, "you did good to bring him here, he's in good hands. We may be able to repair the damage done with surgery, if he can survive it. We won't be able to judge that for another couple weeks though, he needs time to heal as much of himself as he can before we make the decision to do surgery or not."

England nods, *Kiku… could die?* He thinks to himself. He had never thought of that until now, he knew Japan wasn't in good health, but he never thought that he could DIE because of it.

The doctor leaves after giving England Japan's room number, ICU08, intensive care. England thanks him before turning on his heel and walking briskly down the halls towards the intensive care unit. He finds room eight, pausing at the doorway instead of walking straight in. He can see Japan lying in the hospital bed, eyes closed, a mask placed over his face. England can see his chest is rising and falling normally through the light blue hospital gown, a monitor beeps in time with his heart, and an IV is placed in the back of his hand trailing up to a bag filled with the same stuff that was in the needle. The room is dimly lit, making the whole situation look quite grim and depressing. England swallows back emotion, taking a cautious step into the room. He pulls up a chair and sits at Japan's bedside. Japan lies there, unmoving, even when England takes his hand between his own and kisses it.

"Oh Kiku, I'm so sorry," England sobs.

In Japan's brain he can register things. He feels the slight pressure on his palm from England's kiss. He can hear the muffled cries of his lover through the thick veil of unconsciousness. He tries to open his eyes, but can't tell if they open or not. Maybe they are open and he just can't see, or maybe he died and has gone to Hell, doomed to an eternity of being able to hear his love's voice, feel his touch, but not be able to retaliate with words or touches of his own. The mere thought of such an existence makes him try harder to wake.

England stops crying, he could have sworn Japan had moved his hand, tried to hold his. He watches carefully, and sure enough, one of Japan's fingers twines itself between England's. The rest soon follow suit, and moments later Japan's hand is holding firmly onto England's. Hope fills England, so much so that he starts laughing heartily. He squeezes Japan's hand back, praying that this is only the beginning.

Japan is tired, so tired. He tries to open his eyes again, but the energy he exerted from moving his hand is soon gone. His brain tells him to rest, to heal, but he doesn't want to listen to his brain right now. He wants to see England, then, he promises himself, he will sleep. One more go at opening his eyes, focusing all of his strength on the task, gives him the reaction he hopes for. He sees England, who's head is bent, his vision is blurry but he's not about to complain. He watches silently, knowing that if he even attempted to speak that he would be dragged back under by his weak, weak brain. He feels the corners of his mouth form a smile though, and then his world goes black once more.

England raises his head just in time to see Japan's eyes flutter shut. He can't see his smile through the mask, the smile meaning that Japan had seen him, known he was there. Seeing Japan's eyes, even for that split second, open, comforts him. Now, instead of seeing Japan as comatose, he can tell himself that he's only sleeping (which in Japan's mind, he is), warmth fills England's chest. He smiles and leans forward, kissing Japan's forehead.

"You'll be alright Kiku," he whispers, "I promise."

~~~England stays in the hospital with Japan for the next two weeks, not leaving him unless he really needed to (restroom, every couple days for a change of clothes), other than that he lived in the hospital. The doctor takes Japan's blue IV out, replacing it with a clear liquid.

"A weak sedative, when he wakes up it'll be difficult for him to speak, this will ease some of the pain," the doctor explains, "he should be waking up sometime soon however."

England nods, he's learned to do that now, nod at whatever news they give him. They told him that Japan's heart a somewhat stronger, he nodded. Told him that they are going to do surgery next week, he nodded then too. He nods, he doesn't speak. Not even when Germany and Italy came to visit the day before. Nodding or shrugging at whatever question they asked him, before they sighed, leaving.

Japan's not as tired as before, everything works better now. His brain can make multiple things function at the same time, his hearing, his breathing, his movement. His brain tells him not to open his eyes yet, that he can do that later after it tests out the other parts of his body first. A female voice tells him to move his left hand if he can hear her, he twitches his fingers. Move his foot, wiggle his toes. He obliges, hoping that with each movement his brain will be satisfied so that he can open his eyes and see who tells him to do these things. There is another voice however, that he recognizes. England is there, always at his side. He holds his hand, he talks to him. Japan listens to the stories from England's place, stories of romance and tragedy. His favorite is Romeo and Juliet, not because of how it ends, oh goodness no, but because of how much the couple loved each other. That story reminds him of one that comes from his place, one about two lovers who are separated by the milky-way, only aloud to meet once a year, but if it rains that day when they are to meet, the milky-way will flood and they must wait another year to see each other.

England leaves Japan's room; the nurses were coming in to check blood pressure, and he didn't want to be a bother. He walks down the many halls, passing rooms where cries of joy and sadness leak out into the hospital beyond. He closes his eyes, fighting back the tears that seem to have come every night for the past week. He finds an empty waiting room and sits in a chair. He leans forward, burying his face in his hands, taking deep calming breathes.

"Calm down England, he's doing much better than he was. Don't go giving yourself a heart attack with worry," Flying Mint Bunny perches on England's shoulder.

"I know how he's doing; I was there when they said it," England says, not looking up from his hands, "but I can't help but worry. Every day they say he should be waking up, but he doesn't. It terrifies me at night that if I fall asleep something will happen to him. So I don't sleep most nights, I sit there awake like the worrier I am."

"But you have to know that if something did happen, there are doctors and nurses on call that will take care of him," Flying Mint Bunny urges.

England pauses, of course he knew that, so why was he arguing with a green rabbit about it? He shrugs and stands, walking back to room eight with calm controlled steps. A nurse waits outside and stops him before he goes inside.

"He's awake now; we gave him a notebook so he can write what he needs to say as to not strain himself. He was asking for you," the nurse smiles at England, stepping to the side and letting him pass without another word.

Japan is sitting up in his bed, the mask gone, a pencil in his hands moves fast over a piece of paper. He looks up and sees England; a large smile comes across his face. He opens his arms wide, and England walks into them, hugging him tightly.

"Oh Kiku," England whispers when they part.

Japan writes something on his notebook, "_Arthur-kun, how have you been? The nurses tell me you haven't been sleeping well?"_

"Not really, I didn't want to miss you waking up."

"_You could have still slept; they would have woken you if something happened."_

England shrugs, "I know, but I wouldn't have been able to sleep any way."

"_Was it really that bad, they told me I damaged my lung and heart? They say I'll need surgery to fix it completely."_

"Yeah, next week. Don't worry about it though, you'll be fine," England smiles, taking Japan's hand in his.

"_Thank you, for still loving me even after you found out about… this."_

England laughs, "You're welcome Kiku, but you didn't need to worry about me not loving you. I'm in far too deep for that to happen." He kisses Japan on the lips. Japan blushes cherry red, "You have no idea how much I missed that."

Japan looks down, embarrassed, "_I saw you, the first night. I made my brain open my eyes and I saw you. Your head was down, but you were there. I was happy."_

Heat rushes to England's ears and tears sting his eyes. Even after being so close to death, for Japan to be happy just because he was here, made England love him so much more.

"_Are you alright Arthur-kun?"_

England doesn't answer right away; he just looks into Japan's eyes. His open eyes that are wide and sparkly with concern, "I'm fine, I'm just really glad that you're okay. I was scared Kiku, I didn't think…. after the first week I thought that…." He shakes his head, the tears stream down his cheeks no matter how hard he tries to stop them. The relief that flooded over him was just too much after the sadness.

Japan rubs England's back as he cries into his lap. He wasn't used to seeing him express this much emotion, he was usually the reserved one. Japan liked the change; it made him feel as though England really trusted him, enough to show his vulnerable side. He smiles sweetly, stroking England's head soothingly. England's sobs cease minutes later, and he sits up. His nose and eyes are red; there are tear stains on his cheeks.

"_Would you like to go one a walk with me through the hospital's garden? I heard it was lovely this time of year."_

"You're allowed to walk in your state?" England asks.

"_No, but I'm allowed to be pushed in a wheelchair, they brought me one when you were out. I will need some help getting in though…"_

"Sure, I would like that."

England walks to the other side of Japan's bed where a wheelchair sits, waiting. He pulls it closer to the side of the bed, pulling back Japan's covers. Japan steadies himself by putting his hand on England's shoulder, swinging his legs over the edge. England half carries Japan and sets him in the seat of the chair, unhooking his IV bag and securing it to the pole attached to the side of the wheelchair. Japan grabs his notebook and pen from the bed, scribbling a quick note to the nurses.

"_Let us go?"_

England nods, pushing Japan out of the room.

Outside the sun shines brightly in a baby blue sky. In the garden are bushes of beautiful flowers, lilacs, lilies, roses, and trees that offer cool shade over the winding paved pathway. There's a small pond surrounded by cattail and filled with brightly colored fish that leap out of the water when a dragonfly buzzes by.

"You were right, it is nice this time of year," England smiles down at Japan.

"_Hai, it's beautiful right?"_

"Very much so."

They stop at a bench that sits under a great weeping willow, its leaves wave gently in the breeze. Japan leans his head back, breathing deep.

"I can see why they would put a garden like this in a hospital," England says, "you look healthier already. Things like this are good for you."

Japan sighs, he turns to look at England, "_I love you_," he mouths.

England leans forward, "I lo-," he pauses, "what the bloody hell is he doing here?" He looks past Japan at a man walking over to them.

It's England's Boss.

England stands, "excuse me Kiku, while I see what this is about."

Japan nods, watching England stroll confidently up to his Boss. He watches as the two argue over something. England's face falls at what his Boss is telling him. He nods, his hands clenched into tight fists. The two men dip their heads to one another, England watches his Boss leave the garden before coming back to Japan's side. Japan raises and eyebrow.

"_Is everything alright?"_

England shakes his head, "My Boss just gave me news. He said that in light of the circumstances he put it off as long as he could but he can't push it off any longer."

"_What is it Arthur-chan, tell me?"_

England takes Japans hand, "He needs me to go off to sea, the bad part about it is… he doesn't know when I'll be back."

The silence that fallows is so heavy that even the wind stops.

~End Chapter 3~

Authors Note: I'm so glad that Japan pulled through, even if he does need surgery to patch him up. England was so happy XD I thought the whole thing was just so KAWAII~~**.


	8. The Longest Departed

Chapter Eight: The Longest Departed

Back in Japan's hospital issued room Japan looks at England, unsure of what to say, or write in his case.

"I have to be ready and at port tomorrow morning, I have no choice in the matter," England says, "I sail at dawn."

Japan understood this. Under no circumstances should a country disobey his Boss's orders, no matter how much he may want to. If they do, the Boss has every right to get rid of the country. It had almost happened to him once, long ago. His own Boss had gotten drunk, and terribly angry, he had told Japan to hand him the bottle of sake from the top cabinet and he had refused. He was beaten mercilessly, almost to the point of death. If it had not been for China at the time, he wouldn't be here right now. The thought of England going through something similar sends a chill up Japan's spine. He wasn't about to let that happen if he could stop it.

"_Go, don't worry about me. I'll be fine, I promise." _He writes.

"Are you sure? I could try to make other arrangements to sail at a later date," England asks.

An image of England lying on the floor covered in cuts and blood flashes through Japan's mind, "_I'm positive, if you don't go your Boss could have you killed."_

England nods, he had heard the rumors about Japan's Boss almost killing him years ago. His big brother China, being in the Ally's with him, was the one who had told him. He takes Japan's face in his hands and kisses him passionately on the mouth. Japan grips his sleeve, running the other hand through England's hair. When they part, England rests his forehead on Japan's. He can feel Japan's breathing on his face, his strong, healthy breathing. If leaving would ease his boyfriend's anxiety, he would go without complaint.

"Fine, I'll go," he reconciles, "but when I get back, you must promise me something."

"_Anything."_

England pulls a small felt box out of his pocket and falls to one knee. Japan's eyes widen a sparkle with premature tears. England opens the box, revealing a small silver band engraved with the kanji for love and a phrase written in cursive, 'love, for me, its meaning in you'.

"Will you marry me?" England asks.

Japan picks up his notebook. He starts writing something, not looking up for a while. When he turns the notebook around so that England can see all there is on it is a highly decorated 'HAI!'. Hiding behind the notebook Japan's face turns a very deep shade of red, his heart is beating wildly. England takes one look at the notebook and smiles. He takes it out of Japan's hands and tosses it onto the bed. He kisses him once more, slipping the ring onto his left finger in the process. Japan twines his fingers with England's, holding tightly to his hand, he doesn't want to let him go just yet.

"Kiku…" England whispers.

"Hmm?" Japan looks at England, confused.

"I love you…"

*I love you too Arthur-kun…*

~England stands on the wooden planks of the dock where his massive ship is waiting for him to board. He had said his goodbyes to Japan the night before, promising to come home to his fiancé as soon as he was able. He looks down at the matching ring resting on his left ring finger, reminding him of why he was there. He takes a deep breath, adjusts his hat, and takes his firsts steps onto his ship, and away from his love.

"Captain!" a crewman yells from the crow's-nest, "Ready to set sail!"

England nods, "Hoist anchors!"

"I'm surprised Captain Kirkland, I didn't expect you to leave that Japan boy so easily. It's not like you not to try to defy my orders," England turns around, his Boss stands on the top deck, arms crossed.

England smirks, "Well you know what they say, if you spend enough time around the one you love, you pick up some of their habits."

"I see…"

England puts his hands in his pockets, "I would surely hope that you do, in fact, I'm going to be spending a lot more time with 'that Japan boy'. Maybe then you'll finally get the country you so desire." He smiles cheekily.

England's Boss fumes, he turns on his heel, stomping down the steps into the cabin. England laughs. He looks out at the ocean, whose cerulean waters reflect the sky above, matching each ray of the sun to the point it touches the clouds. He sighs, closing is eyes. He thought that he had left his pirating days behind him, sailing to unknown lands, fighting other pirates to the death. He had lost track of how many people and countries he had killed. With each murder he had lost a little more of himself, falling deeper into the pit of insanity. Something inside of him had snapped back then, and he never wanted that to happen again, not now since he had a happy future with Japan to look forward too. And he WILL have that happiness with Japan, even if he had to destroy a thousand more crews, burn a million more ships. And speaking of ships, his own is floating far out into the Atlantic Ocean, so far that nothing surrounds it for the exception of salt water.

"Captain," a crew member tips his hat at England as he walks past. England nods to the man, wondering all the while how his Boss had been able to pull a crew together so quickly. His original had disbanded after he had hung up his coat and these men were all new faces to him.

*Young men wanting nothing more than to explore the wide open world, they have no idea what they're getting into becoming a pirate…* he sighs and shakes his head.

He looks around the deck, sizing up his crew. Not one of them could be over the age of seventeen, one boy, mopping the deck, may even be as young as fourteen, and each one of them were expected to kill without thought if the ship so happens to come under attack.

*This… is disgusting,* England thinks, *what the bloody hell is my Boss THINKING! Letting _children_ become crew members! It's barbaric! Since when does the Queen allow such things to happen?* He grips the ship's siding, making small dents in the wood with his fingernails, anger making his face turn red. The fourteen year old boy looks up from his work, catching England's gaze, his eyes widen slightly then he goes back to cleaning, putting more effort into it than before. England doesn't notice however, he's too busy imagining ways that would make his Boss never be able to walk again. Abandoning the side of the ship he walks up the steps to the upper deck where a sixteen year old boy mans the wheel. With a flick of his wrist he sends the boy away, taking control of the ship himself. A strong wind blows, filling the sails and pushing them farther into the sea. A dolphin leaps high into the air out of the water fallowed by three more soon after in dives under again. The sight quells England's frustration.

*Reminds me of why I wanted to become a pirate in the first place…. I wanted to be free. How wrong I was to think this life could give me that…* He laughs at the memory. Only nineteen at the time, he had hopped aboard his first ship, the next year he had become a captain. The pride he felt then, it doesn't even compare to the love he holds for Japan now. *When I return Kiku, everything will be well. I promise you that…* he sends a silent prayer to Japan, a silent wish. In hopes that he will be happy and healthy when he returns.

~Japan is sitting in his wheelchair, being pushed around the hospital grounds by Italy and Germany. The two had arrived earlier that day once the news that he had woken spread.

"So his Boss made him go off to sea?" Germany asks after Japan tells them about England's departure.

Japan coughs. His throat isn't so sore anymore, and he could finally talk again, "Hai, but before he left… he asked me something…" He blushes.

Italy jumps in front of the chair. Germany digs is heels in the ground to keep from running him over, "What did he ask you?" he asks.

"He- he asked me to…" Japan couldn't get the words to come out, he tries again but they refuse to come.

Italy cocks his head to the side; his curl bounces up and down, "Japan," he whines, "What did Mr. England ask you to do?"

Japan's face goes a deep shade of red as bright as the circle on his national flag, "he asked me to marry him…"

Italy's face lights up like a lamp, he smiles wide, "That's wonderful! I'm so happy for you Japan!"

Germany leans down around the back of the wheelchair so he could see Japan; he gives a small smile, and then goes back to pushing him down the side walk. They enter the garden, the grass has been freshly cut and its scent fills the air around them. Italy sneezes loudly when a stray piece flies by his nose in a gust of wind. He laughs, so does Germany. Japan smiles, his throat to tender to handle laughter. Or maybe he was just too sad to laugh right now, he missed England, missed him terribly. He looks at the sky; the sun is setting, tuning the once bright blue to a vibrant orange.

*Please be careful Arthur-kun…*

~One week later~ England looks away from the sunset, at the bottle of rum in his hand. Why was he drinking rum again? Oh yes, because the crew was having a party to celebrate the first safe week on the open water. He takes a long pull from the bottle again, resting his elbow on the table.

"Another bottle Captain?" a smiling young boy, maybe sixteen, asks. He takes the empty bottle From England and replaces it with a fresh one.

England nods as the boy walks away, he couldn't remember asking for another bottle. But the evidence was in his hands, so he must have. He takes another drink, the liquor making his head feel light and dizzy. His eyes are a little too bright; his cheeks a dark shade of pink, he laughs at whatever any of his crew tells him even if it's not a joke. England, United Kingdom, is drunk. His Boss comes to sit across from him at the table, and takes a long look at England.

"Enjoying yourself I see, swell," he says, taking a sip from his own bottle of rum.

England leans back in his chair, crossing his legs, "I… _hiccup… _am enjoying myself thank you."

His Boss smiles, nodding, "That's good. You see, this whole party is to celebrate not just a good day at sea, but your engagement as well."

"Really? I didn't think you approved of mine and Japan's engagement, what changed your mind?" England eyes his Boss carefully. He doesn't break eye contact, even when he takes long swig from the shaky bottle in his hand.

His Boss waves his hand dismissively, "I just saw how happy you were with him, and you know how soft I get when I see a happy couple. I melted practically."

England stares down the opening of the rum bottle, "Well slap me thrice and hand me to my mum, you do have a heart you old geezer!"

"Captain Kirkland, what is two plus two?" England's Boss asks innocently.

England furrows his brow. He thinks a moment, "Fish?"

His Boss puts his hand on his chin, "Yes that's right. Two plus two equals fish…" He gestures to boy holding a large bottle in his hands.

"Another bottle… Captain?" the boy asks smiling sweetly.

England holds his own bottle up to his ear. He shakes it, what little liquid in it sloshes around the bottom, "Yes, thank you my good lad." He doesn't have time to get a hold of the new bottle when the boy hits him in the head with it. He sways a moment, and then falls to the floor in a heap. He sees his Boss clasp the boy on the shoulder, nodding in approval just before he falls into a world of darkness.

England's Boss leans down by his ear, "You never were a beneficial country, but don't worry. I'll see fit to tell your Japan that you tried hard to make it back to him, give the boy some peace of mind in light of your _unexpected _death." He turns to the crew, "Tie him to a barrel and toss the fool overboard, now, before he wakes up!"

Three of the older boys run to England's side, they hoist him up and lay him belly first on top of a large wooden barrel. Once he's been tied sufficiently, the pick up the barrel and heave it over the side of the ship. England lands in the dark water with a splash. His Boss goes to the wheel and turns the boat around, sailing away, heading back to the mainland. England floats, unconscious, on his private barrel, letting the sea push his body this way and that, unaware of the mutiny that has befallen him. The sky is black now, no moon and no stars.

~Japan has just gotten out of surgery and he lays in his bed in Recovery. His chest hurts, but not because of the stitches, that pain has been taken care of by the morphine. This pain is much deeper, in his heart. It's not a physical pain. No, this pain is much more than that. The pain he feels is when you think that something bad has happened to the person you long for. And right now he longs for England. And he has a bad feeling that something terrible has come unto his fiancé. Japan looks out the window, the sky is unusually black, not a star in sight, in Japan's mind, that is a very bad omen.


	9. A Series of Love Notes Lost

Chapter Nine: A Series of Love Notes Lost

*Sand? Why is there sand beneath me? Where's my ship?* England cracks his eyes open, looking around, thoroughly befuddled. He is on an island, a seemingly deserted island, lying on a crescent shaped beach beside a half buried wine barrel. His body is covered in rope burns where his clothing has worn away. He wears one shoe, the other lost and its whereabouts unknown. A deep gash above is eyebrow brings immediate attention, and when he raises his hand to it, it comes back caked in dark maroon blood. *What happened?* He asks himself, his memory can only tell him that he had been drinking, drinking a lot. Then, his head hurt and everything went dark. England shakes his head, too tired to try to find answers right now. He stands and turns his back to the ocean, staring at the tall palms which border the beach. There's a rustling in the trees, and his hand automatically falls to his side in search of his sword, which, thankfully is still attached to his belt. He draws it cautiously, bending his knees in a protective stance. The commotion is the forest stops, and a deadly silence fallows. He stands at the ready, poised for attack, until the quiet is broken by the distant call of some bird. A warm breeze blows, carrying the scent of blossoms from the eastern part of the island. England begins walking in the direction of the sweet aroma, pulling off his other shoe and tossing it behind him. It lands with a thud on the white sand.

*No sense wearing one boot when the other is missing.*

The sun has traveled high into the sky before he reaches the eastern side of the island; the soft sand has given way to jagged rocks that scrape the soles of his feet. He leaves a bloody trail behind him and soon has to limp up to the tree line where the rocks end and coarse grass begins. England collapses under a large palm tree whose canopy leaves give much needed shade over his overheated body. He needs water, and fast, before the effects of dehydration kick in.

*I- I wonder where I am. How far away am I from Kiku? How the bloody hell did I get here in the first place?* he asks himself again. His brain is feeling generous, and gifts him with another memory, heavily blurred by the quantity of rum he had consumed, but still a memory. He had been talking with his Boss… then a man… no a boy… had asked him if he wanted another bottle of rum. What happened after that? There was someone carrying him… no, more than one person. There was a splash, water? He was tied to a barrel and thrown in the ocean by his crew!

*The bloody bastards betrayed me! No, it wasn't them… it was my Boss!* he grips the hilt of his sword, turning is knuckles white, *My Boss tried to have me _killed_! That was his plan wasn't it! Get me out onto the ocean, make me drunk, and feed me to the fishes!*

"_You never were a beneficial country…"_

The words bounce around in his skull, hitting his brain. They trigger his emotions, making him cry loudly in anger, a deep throated monstrous scream. A flock of birds behind him starts squawking as they fly away in a flurry of brightly colored feathers.

"… _You unexpected death…"_

"Unexpected my ASS!" England yells to no one in particular. *What will Kiku think when he hears of my 'death'? He would cry surely… he would be heartbroken…*

England jumps up, his will to get of the island refueled. He wipes the sweat from his brow, and treks through the trees in search of water or anything that could help him get off the island.

~Five Days Later~ The birds chirp harmoniously outside Japan's hospital room window. He opens his eyes and smiles when he sees the blue animals perched upon a tree right outside. He sits up, resting his hand on his chest where his stitches are. They're throbbing, but not painful, just enough sensation to remind him he's alive. A nurse comes in to check his stitches; she peels back the gauze that covers them.

"They look like they're healing well," the nurse smiles after she changes the bandaging, "though you may want to stay here for a couple more days, in case you have another attack. If you do you may rip the stitching and damage your heart again, you might not be so lucky this time."

Japan nods, he knew this. The doctor even replaced his needle of medication with pills that he now takes every morning after breakfast. The nurse leaves, Japan leans back in his bed, resting his head on his pillow with a sigh. There has been no news of England, nothing to say whether the feelings Japan had the other day had been justified. He twirls his ring around on his finger, a nervous habit he has developed. There comes a rapping at Japan's doorframe, he turns to look at whoever would find it good to make such an annoying noise so early.

It's England's Boss.

Japan sits up quickly and tightens his grip on his bedcovers. England's Boss comes to sit in the chair at Japan's bedside; he crosses his legs and frowns.

"Ohayou-gozaimasu," Japan dips his head respectfully, he had never met with his fiancé's Boss face to face before. This situation was strange on many levels.

"Yes, but I believe that it is not a very good morning, for both of us," England's Boss frowns again.

Japan cocks his head to the side, "Nani? What do you mean?" his thoughts turn to England, "What has happened? Where is England-san? Is he alright?" *Please let him be alright…*

England's Boss shakes his head, "I'm afraid that Arthur Kirkland is not alright. In fact… I'm not quite sure how to say this… he's not _with _us anymore."

Japan's eyes widen, his heart rate skyrockets, sending the monitors that he's hooked up to crazy, "You mean… Arthur-kun is… dead? But that can't be, there must be some mistake. If he is dead then how are you here? Aren't you supposed to be on the ship with him?"

"We were with him, the crew and myself, but we were attacked. The battle was long and bloody, I lost many good men that day, and a good country. Mr. Kirkland was killed in battle and buried at sea like an honorable Captain…" England's Boss finishes his story with a heavy sigh, "The remnants of the crew and I sailed back to port soon afterwards, we just made it back this morn."

*Arthur-kun… is… _dead?_ But-but, how could this have happened? He was a good swordsman and an even better strategist, how could he have been killed so _easily?*_ A million thoughts go through Japan's mind, colliding with each other and creating even more thoughts. He had heard stories long ago, of the infamous pirate Captain Kirkland. The ruthless vagabond who gave no mercy to his prisoners, killing and burning their ships while laughing like a mad man.

England's Boss stands, coughing into his fist he says, "I thought that it would be prudent that you should be told by me, and not by anyone else who may twist the story. I was so looking forward to your wedding Mr. Honda, I'm quite positive that it would have been a grand event. Terribly sorry for your loss." He dips his head at Japan, and then leaves the room without another word.

Japan stares at everything and nothing. In shock from the most recent news, he wanted to know of his love, but not this way. His fingers are trembling, so are his shoulders, he shocks himself when the realization hits him that he's crying. When did he start crying? Who cares? Not him he can assure you, he cared about nothing at the moment. Nothing that is, including his pills that are in a plastic cup on his bedside table. They sit there, forgotten as he holds his head in his hands, rocking back and forth slowly.

Back and forth.

Back… and… forth.

His sobs become louder, but nobody comes to check on him. England's Boss must have told them not to go in right away, given them fair warning to the fiasco that would happen. His chest hurts, the stitches and his heart, just adding to the pain he feels inside, making him cry harder. He leans forward, putting his head between his knees, wrapping his arms around his head. He doesn't want to see the birds that have begun to sing again, doesn't want to see the bright blue sky dotted with puffy cotton-like clouds that look oh so soft to the touch. Soft, like England's words when he whispered them to Japan lovingly, soothingly, now never to be heard again. His breathing comes in short gasps after the sudden memory of that night a little over a week ago. Could it have truly been a week? It felt like an eternity. The night England had proposed, the words shared between them then, never again.

Never again, never ever, ever again!

"Arthur- hugh- kun… wha- why… _sob_… WHY!" Japan yells. This is the first time he could ever remember yelling like this. The first time he had ever felt this way before. He doesn't like it, he can't breathe right, and when he tries he coughs loudly. His cries become moans when his throat turns raw. He's shaking all over, shivering, he's spent physically. Japan's body can't take anymore, but his emotions are still fresh, willing to come forth and knock him down into the pit of despair. Japan is almost there, he's on the edge, and if he just takes _one_ step backwards he will be there. Something pushes him forward however, away from the sinking hole of depression, a memory, a promise.

'…_promise me, that you will never hurt yourself, that no matter the reason or time that you'll come to me. That you will tell me.' _

*How am I supposes to tell you when you're not here? If I were to go to you, that would be breaking my promise to you.* Japan thinks.

It takes an hour for Japan to calm down enough to be able to breathe normally. He's still shaky, but it's not terrible. His eyes are still watery, but the tears do not spill over. He gets out of bed, forgoing his wheelchair, and walks out of his room. He walks down the halls where sounds of happiness and joy leak out into the hospital. He stops at the door that leads to the garden, hesitating before opening it. Outside the wind blows fiercely, blowing Japan's soft pink hospital gown up around his thighs. He steps onto the stone pathway, the rocks warm on his bare feet, and starts towards the willow whose tendrils dance in the air. Japan sits on the bench under it, hidden from the nurses who would surely be searching for him soon. A fallen flower floats to Japan's feet from a nearby bush. He bends to pick it up, careful not to damage the petals. It's a lilac, its scent is calming, soothing. Japan gives a small smile at the flower, cupping it in his hands; holding it close to his heart. The ring on his finger glistens in the sunlight, and Japan closes his eyes. He reminisces in the fond memories he shared with England, the first meeting, the open-air bath, when he had woken to his presence. Each is sweet, but also brings tears to his eyes. They trickle down his cheeks slowly, increasing with each past reflection until Japan is doubled over on the bench. The lilac still carefully clutched at his heart.

~England falls to the ground again, lying there this time, too weak to get up. He has been on the island for almost a week. The only water he has found resides in the juice from the fruit he has found on the trees, no rivers, ponds, or even puddles. He hasn't reached the other side of the island however; therefore there is a good chance that he will find fresh water, if he can survive that long. Each day he becomes weaker, traveling less and less. The sun raises high over the faint country, shining brightly in his eyes. England tries standing, his hand shooting out to grasp a vine for balance. His breath comes in short pants, quickly turning to gasps when he starts trudging through the forest again.

"D-don't worry Kiku luv," he whispers breathlessly, "I'm coming… I'll get to you. I promise…"

The bottoms of his feet are covered in scars and scrapes, leaving the grass behind them dampened by scarlet blood drops. That, and his fever, is reason enough for him to continue searching for water. His vision becomes blurry and England barely misses running into a large tree.

*There must be fresh water on this island somewhere… those animals need to drink as well* England think when he spots a bird perched in a tree. The bird looks at him and spreads its wings wide, it calls loudly, swooping down and past England, its claws inches from tearing off his ear. England ducks, rolling onto the ground and landing in soft mud. He lies there, unmoving. The mud seeps between his fingers, covering his hands.

*Mud… how lovely…* England thinks sarcastically. He never enjoyed mud, the way it dirtied his clothing, making it wet and disgusting.

Wet…

Mud…

Wet…

*WATER!* the realization jars England out of his stupor of mud hating. He flips over and starts crawling on his hands and knees through the mud. It becomes wetter the farther he crawls until his hand slips and he's face first in the muck. He feels around with his hand, his fingers dip into a substance that is neither solid nor gas. He pries his face out of the ground and sees it, his salvation.

It's a small spring surrounded by bushes and fed by a waterfall that reflects England's astounded facial expression. He pulls his entire body into the water, floating on the top, letting the coolness rejuvenate him. England dives under the surface, cleaning the dirt and grime from his body. When he surfaces he pulls off his belt and shirt, draping them over the limbs of a nearby tree. He dunks his head under, swallowing mouthfuls of water. His blonde hair is plastered to his head and his damp, muscular torso glints in the sunlight. His emerald eyes are filled with life, determination. All he needs now is a way to get off this cursed isle.

~End Chapter~

Authors note: -_- tears… I got into character in this chapter; I became Japan and acted out how I wanted him to react to England's Boss. Speaking of Boss's… I am officially starting an angry mob that is hell bent of killing Japan and England's Bosses (my fanfiction bosses only :P). I and one of my fans are making plans to kill them with Russia's help and rusty lead pipes. Thank you UnifiedNations!


	10. The Door is Locked, Why Try to Enter?

Chapter Ten: The Door is Locked, Why Try to Enter?

"Japan?" A careful hand is placed on a trembling Japan's shoulder. It squeezes firmly, trying to gain his attention. Japan looks up, his cheeks tear-stained, his eyes red, his lips pressed tightly together.

"Onii-chan? What are doing here?" The concerned face of China comes into focus. China sits on the bench beside his younger brother.

"I found him, he's over here!" China calls. Two nurses sprint over with a wheelchair and Japan's cup of medicine. China turns to Japan, "What were you thinking? The hospital called me because they couldn't find you, they thought you ran off." He helps Japan get into the chair, he forces the pills into Japan's fisted hand, "Take these, now," he turns to the nurses, "I've got him, you can go. I'll make sure he gets back to his room."

The nurses exchange a glance then turn back to the hospital entrance. Japan swallows the capsules one by one until all three are gone and the cup sets empty in his hands. He stares at China blank faced, no longer caring that he was here. Truth be told, all Japan wanted right now is to be alone with his thoughts, being alone meant no interruptions, no interruptions meant that he could feel what he wanted to feel without having to hide it from whomever was with him. He didn't have to hide from England though; his fiancé had an air about him that made you feel calmer, more at ease. No, not fiancé, how could he be Japan's fiancé if he was dead? Japan goes to turning his ring around on his finger again. *Don't think about that right now, don't be a burden and make others feel sympathy for you. Wait until he's gone, wait until you're alone, wait… just wait.*

It's too late for waiting.

The plastic cup is crushed in his balled up fist. His mouth is clenched together in an unmoving line. Japan lowers his head just before the sadness overwhelms him and the tears come once more. Why isn't he able to control these emotions? He was able to put on a mask before. How come these feelings break through the barrier in his subconscious? Oh right, because he loves England. He loves him and these raw emotions are just too much to hold inside. He can try to hold them in, but they'll just burst out eventually, not caring who's around to see them. Better it be here with his brother, and not at a World Conference or something.

China bites his bottom lip, unaccustomed to seeing Japan like this. He puts his hand on Japan's knee awkwardly, "Japan? What's wrong?" he waits for an answer, but no answer comes, "You can tell me. I will listen. Please, tell Big Brother China your woes."

Japan shakes his head from side to side; "Iie, I can't…" he starts coughing. He raises his hand to cover his mouth, bringing it away dotted with blood. Japan's eyes widen, he looks up at China, whose face is equally frightened.

~England ties the final knot in the vines he is using in place of rope. The raft he has crafted out of fallen logs, tied together by vines, is the only means he has found to escape. England pulls the raft behind him and places it into his spring; it floats, for a few seconds, but then sinks to the bottom.

"Dammit all, you twit!" England throws his arms in the air; he's had just about enough of being here. The mermaid he met that morning had given him this idea, assuring him that it would work. *What a liar she is! Probably having a good laugh at me too!* he kicks a small stone and sends it flying into the trees. It lands with a hollow thump. *That's rather odd…* England makes his way into the woods in the direction the rock flew. He pushes past the underbrush and when he sees what has been hidden, he wants to smack himself for being so oblivious. Covered in moss and laying upside down is a small boat, more properly called a skiff. England heaves it onto its right side, under it are two paddles, a little haggard but still usable. The skiff has no sizable holes or cracks and is in working condition if he removes the layers of grunge.

"How curious… why are you here?" England mumbles to himself, "It's as if your owner just up and vanished… might have been he was taken by the fairies? Good thing though, you can help me get back to Kiku. Let us just… get you cleaned up shall we?" He lifts the skiff off the ground a bit, taking it back to the water. Using a rough rock he takes to scrubbing the vegetation off the bottom and sides. As layer by layer disappears, England can see more and more potential excreting from his find. He steps back from his finished work, nodding in approval. Without the gunk weighing it down, carrying the skiff to the shore is much simpler. It floats, and doesn't sink or fill mysteriously with water from unknown holes. England hops in, after gathering a bunch of fruit and pushes away from the white sand out into open water.

*My ship was heading south… therefore I shall go north!* England looks at the sky; the sun was starting to set… west was that way then. He starts rowing, keeping the sun to his left at all times. He keeps going, though the sun is close to setting. If he slept then he might get lost, better to just keep rowing.

~China runs into the hospital, wheeling a coughing and quivering Japan into his room. He slams his fist onto the Call button, a nurse appears seconds later.

"Good evening, how may I be of assistance?" She gets a look at Japan, blood trickling down the corners of his mouth. The nurse drops the medical chart in her hands, taking a step out the door she yells down the hall, "Doctor, come quickly! The patient, Mr. Honda is…" Japan's doctor comes running into the room, pushing past the nurse. He leans down beside Japan, placing a hand on his chest.

"His suture must have burst," he mumbles, he turns to the nurse, "prepare for surgery, we need to fix it quickly before it tears completely."

The nurse nods shakily, running from the room. The doctor pulls back Japan's hospital gown, and peels off the bandage covering the row of stitches on his chest. The pale skin around the incision is uninjured, but beneath the epidermis there is an unmistakable blotching of blood cells. Japan coughs again, and the dark coloring spreads further across his chest.

*The lung is filling with blood… slowly, but it's getting worse,* the doctor takes the handles of the wheelchair and pushes Japan out of the Recovery wing.

China chases after, "Wait, what's going on! What's wrong with him!"

"Sir, you need to stay out here, you can't be in the room during operation," China stops in his tracks when another doctor rushes past him. The doctor is in green scrubs and a face mask, ready for surgery.

The doors shut, inside the operating room it's dark, only illuminated by a large lamp hanging low overhead. Japan is laid down on a cold metal table, his gown is removed and a cloth is placed over the lower half of his body. One of the doctors in the room sticks a syringe into the vein in the crook of his elbow.

"Now Mr. Honda you must calm down," _calm down? _His breathing is abnormally quick, "when I give the word will you count down from one hundred for me? Please, just breathe deeply and count back from one hundred." He pushed down the plunge of the syringe, "Now Mr. Honda, you can start counting. You may do it in your head if you wish."

Japan nods, his head is swimming, *One hundred… _what's happening… _ninety- nine… _am I dying… _ninety- eight… _maybe… _ninety- seven… _maybe it wouldn't be so bad to die… _ninety- six… _if I die… _ninety- five… _then it wouldn't hurt so much… _ninety- four… _right… _ninety… three…* A fog covers his thought process, the anesthesia kicks and Japan's mind goes blank.

"We have to drain the liquid from his lungs and repair the suture, we should check the heart as well, make sure that it's not damaged," the surgeon hands a long clear tubing to a doctor, "when I open him up, snake this tube down his pharynx and suck the blood from his lungs. Attach one end to the vacuum here."

The doctor hooks one end on the tube to a machine and positions himself to be able to put the other end down Japan's throat when the time comes. He nods; the surgeon places his scalpel on Japan's chest, pressing down he slices the skin open revealing the wrong underneath. It's worse than they feared; the amount of blood that has leaked into Japan's lungs is much more than the assumed at first. The doctor slips the tubing down Japan's throat and turns on the vacuum, at first there is a gurgling sound, then a steady stream of red begins to fill the tube.

The surgeon turns to a standby-nurse, "We need some blood bags now! He's losing so much, hurry!" The nurse hooks Japan up to an IV drip of blood; the surgeon repairs the ruptured suture. He sews Japan's chest back together, sterilizing the skin and re-bandaging the area. The doctor finishes removing the blood from Japan's lungs; he slowly pulls the pipe out of his mouth and drops it into a tray beside him. The nurse lets out an overdue sigh of relief; falling to her knees she places her hand over her heart.

"The boy had just found out that his fiancé is dead, and now this," she murmurs, "what terrible luck he must have."

The doctor puts his hand on her shoulder, "I'm afraid the news is what caused this, it was stress again. Stress isn't good for anyone, particularly Mr. Honda." He shakes his head.

The surgeon stands, he pulls off his gloves and face mask, "I'll be leaving him in your hands, I have another operation in half an hour to prepare for." He bows, then steps out of the dark room flipping the light switch as he does so.

"Thank you," the doctor mumbles, he looks at the nurse who has now righted herself and standing on her own two feet again, "Please take Mr. Honda back to his room, keep the IV going with the blood until I come check up on him."

"Yes doctor."

"And don't forget to put a robe on him, he looks like a corpse without one."

"Yes, doctor," the nurse watches as her senior leaves then turns to Japan, she grabs a checkered hospital gown out of a nearby closet and dresses him in it. After refreshing the bagged blood she pushes the table carrying Japan back to the Recovery ward, and to an impatiently pacing China.

"Ma'am, please, you must tell me. What is wrong with my brother?" He asks: his voice is strained as though he's trying to keep from yelling.

The nurse shakes her head dismissively, "it's not something that I should be telling you. When he comes to you should ask him. It's not my place to say."

The two heft Japan onto his bed, the nurse checks the IV once again then takes the table back to the ER. China collapses into an armchair at the end of Japan's bed, taking to tapping his index finger on the wooden arm in an irritable manner.

*Why aren't I dead yet? It should have happened by now… why am I still here?* Japan thinks to himself. His body is heavy and he can't lift his arms. There's a faint burning in his chest, but it's not unbearable. The light shining through his lids is muted though still painful to his retinas.

*What happened? I was coughing…. The blood… My chest* in his mind his inner Japan is curled into the fetal position, *Why am I still here? There's no reason for me here anymore! Why can't I just die already?* His inner self is having a mental breakdown, shaking uncontrollably, crying in anguish. The frustration of living is getting to him. He doesn't want it anymore, doesn't want life. What's the point when the most important person to him is gone? But he isn't just going to go out and kill himself! He can't do that; if he did he'd never see England again! He would be demon in Hell and England would be an angel in Heaven. Never able to talk to each other, share another tender kiss or touch. No, he wasn't going to kill himself, but he wasn't going to fight death either. His inner self stands proudly, finally coming to a decision. *I WELCOME YOU SHINIGAMI! I WELCOME YOU TO TAKE MY LIFE! I WILL NOT OPPOSE YOU ANY LONGER. COME AT YOUR LEISURE AND END MY SUFFERING!*


	11. Sunrise Sets Upon Two Lovers

Chapter Eleven: Sunrise Sets Upon Two Lovers

The wind blows salty air over Japan's face as he sits upon the cliff face gazing out into the oceans demonic waters. After another week of being in the hospital the doctor had finally deemed him healthy enough to go home. The only conditions are a weekly checkup and daily visits from China. Japan had snuck out before dawn to come up here without being caught. He wanted to be alone with his thoughts for a while, before the world wakes and fills with earsplitting noises. So here he sits, alone, in silence, staring out into the sunrise and dreading a new day. Japan wipes a stray tear from the corner of his eye, breathing a shuddering sigh he stands. He's just about to turn from the water and the death drop that would ensue if he were to jump from his place of the cliff, when a shape in the distance catches his gaze. It's far out in the water, heading straight towards the shore. As it gets closer Japan can make out the form of a man in a small boat.

~England is tired, so tired. He has been rowing practically non-stop for days on end with next to no sleep and no water. He breathes a deep sigh when the crest of land comes into view. The cliff that means he will soon be home, the beach that tells him he will see Japan again.

~Japan leans over the edge of the cliff, who in their right mind would be in such a small vessel in such a large body of water?

~England's eyes dart to the cliff again, was there a person on it?

~Japan's eyes widen, the man in the boat has gotten close enough to be able to make out his appearance. Were those eyes emerald? Was the hair blonde? No… it couldn't be… impossible.

~England drops the oars and stands up in the boat, the man on the cliff, he seems so familiar. The dark hair and pale complexion, that deep blue kimono, no other country in the world could resemble Japan. But why is he leaning over the edge of the cliff?

~Japan backs away from the edge, it's impossible; his mind is obviously playing tricks on him. England is dead! Dead and gone forever! He wouldn't be floating in a boat in the middle of the sea, he wouldn't be here! He starts hyperventilating, holding his head in his hands he turns his back on the sea. The tears come freely as he sways back and forth on his feet. Since when was the world so lopsided? Why is the sky heading straight for him? If it didn't stop it would crash into his face. But the world isn't lopsided; the sky isn't on a crash course for his cranium. Japan is falling, and falling fast. The rocks slip from under his feet before he can register the sensation. He was too close to the edge, too close for comfort, and now, he was going to die. He was going to drown in the water that took his love. Japan can't swim, never learned how to. His arms shoot out to grasp something, anything; the loose rocks that when grabbed crumble under his fingers, the roots that grow from the side of the cliff, anything to keep him from reaching the blackness that would be his inevitable end. He hits the water back-first, and the air is punched from his lungs in a single breath.

~England watches awestruck and terrified as Japan tumbles over the stones and falls through the air. The shock soon alleviates and his instinct kicks in. He tears of his belt and shirt, diving into the water. It's dark under the surface, visibility is poor. The distance between him and Japan seems larger when he can't tell where he is. Soon however, he spots him, sinking deeper into the depths.

~Japan can't breathe, his lungs are on fire, he never imagined drowning being so painful, and why was he drowning again? Oh right, he had fallen off the cliff after becoming deranged from imagining England in the ocean. What a fool he is, getting into this situation over a mirage. A figure comes into his line of vision, outlined by the bright sunlight shining through the water's surface.

*Arthur-kun, is that you?* Japan thinks, but of course it wasn't England, of course he was just imaging things.

The figure swims closer, its iridescent green eyes flashing with determination, its bare arm outstretched.

*Thank you Kami-sama, for gifting me one last image of my love before I die…* Japan smiles at the angelic person floating before him. He gets one last glimpse of the man's scared face before a final air bubble escapes his lips and his eyes flutter shut.

~England kicks his legs harder, alarm sets in when he sees Japan's eyes close. One last stroke of his legs and he has him wrapped in his arms. He swims to shore, gasping when his head breaks the surface. With Japan cradled in his arms he walks the last stretch of water and collapses onto the white sandy beach.

England cups Japan's face in his hands, stroking the soft skin with is thumb. He moves a strand of black hair from his forehead carefully.

"Kiku… Kiku my darling," England whispers softly without response, "Kiku it's me, Arthur, please… open your eyes."

He puts his hands on Japan chest and presses down rhythmically, he alternates between doing this and blowing air into Japan's lungs by way of mouth to mouth. He doesn't notice, but at one point England begins to cry, and the gash above his eyebrow has opened up again. The tears and blood land on his hands as they beat at Japan's chest. The two stream down his already wet cheeks when he fills Japan's lungs with air. They flow all the while, even when Japan starts coughing up mouthfuls of salt-water.

Japan rolls onto his side and vomits up everything that was in his stomach and lungs. His body is racked with the effort and soon after he is finished he just starts to tremble. He's exhausted; his limbs feel as though they are filled with liquid lead and are difficult to move.

"K-Kiku," England mumbles, he's breathing heavily and unable to make his voice louder. Japan turns around.

His eyes widen in astonishment, *I died… I have died and gone to Heaven haven't I? It is the only explanation for my seeing this unearthly beautiful creature that sparkles in the light of the rising sun. Whose eyes shimmer when I look into their blazing pools of emerald. I am dead and have met my Arthur, my dearest Arthur in the folds of Kami's embrace.*

England leans closer to Japan, putting has hands on his shoulders he gives him a small shake, and then asks, "Kiku… are you alright? Please, say something, tell me that you are okay."

Japan bobs his head up and down, euphoric by the morning's turn of events. This is more than he could have dreamed for; his death was quick and almost painless. He feels nothing now but the elation of seeing England here… and the fire residing in his dry throat. His hand flashes up to cup his neck, trying to quench the flames from the outside. *What is this pain? Heaven should not be painful. I should not be feeling this… something is terribly wrong here. Have I gone mad?* He clamps his eyes shut, blocking out the world while tears seep through his defenses, wishing to be alive again.

His hand prying Japan's away from his throat England pulls him into his lap. He rubs his shoulders, only now does he notice how cold Japan has become. He whispers soothingly in his ear,

"Shh, it's alright now. Everything is fine Kiku, I'm here now."

"I-I don't understand, how… how are you here? You're supposed to be dead. You are dead; your Boss said your ship came under attack… that you were murdered. You are dead… I am dead, how else am I seeing you right now? Unless I'm insane and nobody has told me… that's it isn't it? I'm crazy and seeing the image of a dead man," Japan cries harder now, his teeth chatter and his skin is covered in goose-bumps. England holds him closer and kisses his forehead.

"Kiku you must calm down," he explains, "I'm not dead, I was never dead. You are not insane nor are you dead yourself. Whatever you have heard from my Boss is a lie, a sick and disgusting lie." He takes Japan's hand and places it over his own heart, "There now, feel that? It's beating, I am alive, alive and here at your side for all time." He holds Japan's other hand and puts it over the cut on his forehead, "See? Dead men don't bleed now do they?"

Japan stares at the crimson covering his palm, feels the distinct thump of England's heart. It takes a moment, but that's all that is needed for Japan to put two and two together in his head. England was alive… IS alive! He's not dead and lying at the bottom of the sea, he's sitting on the sandy beach with Japan held tightly in his arms. He is here with a wide, comforting smile plastered across his bloody face. What feels like a hundred pound weight is lifted from Japan's chest, he smiles up at England, eyes brimming with moisture.

"Arthur-kun," he hugs England tightly around the waist, earning a soft laugh from the surprised country, "Oh Arthur-kun I was so worried about you. I thought… I thought that something awful had become of you." His voice simmers down to barely a whisper.

"You needn't worry about me," England shakes his head, "nothing happened that I couldn't take care of. No need to be concerned."

Japan looks up at England, "But what did happen? What was the reason for the lies? How come you didn't come home?"

England closes his eyes, "Why don't we speak of this later hmm? You're frozen, and it would be better to talk when there is no possibility of being overheard." He glances up to the cliff Japan had fallen from; the shape of a man is just disappearing behind the tree line. *So… he knows I'm back now, swell.*

"Nani, what are you looking at Arthur-chan? Is there something over there?" Japan turns to the trees; England pulls his chin back to look at him.

"Nothing, it's nothing. Just a shadow," He gives Japan a quick kiss on the lips, then stands and pulls him up into his arms. England holds Japan's hand tightly, their fingers weaving together, "you have no idea how much I have missed you Kiku. Your voice, everything." They lean their foreheads together, relishing in their reunion. England's cut stops bleeding momentarily, giving the two an uninterrupted bliss for the moment.

Japan sighs, all of the fear and anxiety he had before has blown away with the wind, the wind which has picked up and sending chills up his spine, "We should go inside, I don't want you to catch cold." He takes England's hand and pulls him up the hill to the back door of his place. Sliding it open he slips off his sodden shoes, England moves to follow suit, then remembers that he has no shoes to remove. Japan sneezes, "My kimono is soaked…" he looks at England, "your pants are wet too… Hold on, um stay here," He runs up the stairs and into his room grabbing an extra yukata and obi from his closet. He changes his own clothes and returns downstairs, "here, you can wear these for now." His cheeks turn pink as England takes the bundle of cloth from his hands, smiling tenderly as he does so.

"Um… ah, I'll turn around now…" Japan's face becomes as red as a tomato. He can hear England chuckle, and the sound of his pants dropping to the wooden floor.

"Oh… Kiku?" England's voice is low, but when Japan turns to look at him his ears get warm, "I-I can't seem to be able to tie this part…" he looks down, biting is lower lip in embarrassment.

With a small laugh Japan takes the ends of the obi and reaches around England's waist to fasten it together in a neat bow. He glances up, meeting England's gaze with a short intake of breath. They both stand frozen, locked in the others stare. England's fingers tighten on the fabric of Japan's kimono sleeve; the distance between their bodies was too far for too long and he longs for it to be non-existent. A sudden rapping at Japan's door interrupts his fantasies however, before they could become a reality.

Japan jumps at the sudden noise, his thoughts brought back to the present, away from their world of fancy. He stays in England's arms a moment longer, before the knocking becomes more impatient.

"_Kutabare…_" he swears under his breath, "Gomen, I'm coming." The knocking ceases when he opens the door to a worried looking China.

"Brother," China pants, "I tried calling, but you didn't pick up. Are you feeling well? Did you take your medicine? Why are you so wet?"

Japan takes a step backwards, surprised by the bombardment of question, "Why don't you come inside? I-I'll make tea for all of us."

China cocks his head to the side, "all of us?" He shrugs and follows Japan into the sitting room where England is seated upon a cushion beside the low table, "K-Kiku… there's a man in your house!"

"Oh no, um… China-san… do you remember when I told you that England-san was… dead?"

"Yes…" China eyes his younger brother with a suspicious gaze, his eyes dart back to England, "What of it?"

"Well… he's… not." Japan laughs nervously, his eyes dart back and forth between China and England.

China leans closer to Japan, "I'm afraid I do not understand what you mean."

Japan sighs, "I don't get it either, but wait here while I make the tea."

China nods and sits on the cushion opposite England; Japan looks at the two worriedly then escapes to his kitchen. The smell of the boiling tea leaves is calming, soothing, and helps to clear his head. He remembers the cup of pills that he had left on the counter beside the sink, and moves hurriedly to swallow all three before China has the nerve to shove them down his throat. The tea kettle whistles, scaring the nervousness out of Japan. He pours three cups and places them along with the tea-pot onto a tray, carrying it back to the sitting room and putting it on the table. There's silence, until Japan passes out the cups and China starts asking a million questions at once.

England raises his hands defensively, "Please, calm down. I will explain everything…"

He goes into the story of how his Boss had taken him out to see, about the party and the boys who he now knows were just hired hands. His Boss's words that he had whispered in his ear before he dumped him into the ocean affixed to a wine barrel. His time spent on the island and his discovery of the skiff. Japan interrupts with details of his own when they hit the part about what happened this morning.

China has only one query when the tale is finished, "Why does your Boss want you gone so badly?"

England drinks from his cup, "I'm not fairly sure, apparently I've caused him more trouble than good will. Speaking of Bosses, where is yours Kiku?"

"My Boss? I haven't seen him since I returned home a few days ago. I don't know where he is…" Japan tightens his fingers around his cup, "He didn't visit me in the hospital either, not that I expected him to. But one should know how ones country is fairing shouldn't he?"

"yes they should… this whole situation reeks of predetermination if you ask me," China sets his empty cup on the table.

England stands, "Then we should really find out what's happening shouldn't we?"

"Nani? What are you going to do Arthur-kun?" Japan asks, his heart is beating madly in anticipation.

England smirks and takes a katana off of a rack on Japan's wall, "I think I shall meet my Boss for tea time."

~End Chapter~

Authors Note: Yeah… stuff happened. People got back together and all of the kawaii fluffiness I thoroughly enjoy. HPisfhdsoigfhadolghaeligh OMG! I…. can't….. Breathe…. too…cute… dies XP. LOL no, I can't die yet, I still have to finish this fanfic. XD


	12. Understanding of the Blatantly Ignorant

Chapter Twelve: The Understanding of the Blatantly Ignorant

England smirks, taking a katana off of Japan's wall, "I think I'll meet my Boss for tea."

"Nani? But, you just got back, and your wound… it's still," Japan stammers. He stands knocking over a cup, sending it shattering to the floor. China steadies the rocking table, saving the teapot and other cups.

England places the katana back in the case; he turns to Japan, "Didn't I already tell you not to fret?" He smiles and pulls Japan into his arms, "Didn't I say that I would be okay? I'll say it again, I'll be fine Kiku. Don't forget, we have yet to get married, I'm not going anywhere until that happens, I promise." He kisses the top of Japan's head. China tightens his grip on the cup in his hand.

"This is a serious situation," he growls, "can we by any chance please save the romance until we _resolve _this?"

Japan and England blush in unison, parting, avoiding each other's gaze.

England coughs into his fist, "Yes, you're quite right. This is a serious predicament we have found ourselves in."

"Hai, very severe."

"Life-threatening is it not?"

"Sugoi, I agree, grievous."

"Extremely sober? I would say so."

A vein in China's temple pulses, "This is not a game! Why are you treating it as such! Japan, I've never known you of all people to joke at a time such as this!"

Japan bows his head, hiding a sly smile, "Hai, you're right Onii-chan. I'm not sure what has come over me."

England laughs loudly, "But making joy out of a dreary situation helps alleviate the stress. Which in and of itself, helps to solve the problem at hand."

China throws his arms in the air, "Then make all the jokes you want! Laugh until your throats turn bloody! But we still don't know what we are going to do about this!"

England sits back down, "I already told you didn't I? I'm going to visit my Boss, take care of this personally." His hand clenches into a fist, his brow furrows in concentration.

Japan drops to his knees beside England, "And what do you expect of us? Let you go alone, you could die?"

England holds Japan's hand in his own, "Yes, that's exactly what I expect of you. I won't die Kiku, how many times must I reassure you? I. Will. Not. Die." He squeezes Japan's hand for emphasis.

Anger fills Japan's eyes, "You cannot possibly know that!" He jumps to his feet. With a shake of his head Japan runs from the room. The others can hear him walk up the stairs, slamming the door to his bedroom closed behind him.

England moves to follow after, but China stops him with a cough, "I wouldn't go right now."

"Why not?" England looks at China confused, "He's seems really upset."

China sighs, "You couldn't possibly know the pain my little brother has gone through. He has lived through your death once, if he had to a second time, I'm fairly sure he wouldn't survive. He was torn inside; this is the first I've seen him smile in weeks. The first he's been alive, in a mental sense. Kiku is not upset with you England; he's upset at the thought of losing you again." He stands, "I'll be taking my leave now. Please inform me when you have made the decision as to how we are going to handle this."

England closes his eyes, he listens for the door to close, the sign that China is no longer in the house. Quietly, so very quietly, England tiptoes up the steps and stops in front of the paneled door leading to Japan's room. He takes a deep breathe, then slides the door open. The room is dark, tidy, the bed sheets neatly folded against the far wall. England takes a step inside. Across from him are two wide glass double doors, open, looking onto a balcony. Leaning against the balcony banister is Japan, curled into a loose fetal position. His shoulders rise and fall quickly, the soft sound of sobbing emanates from him. England bites his lip, his eyes soften. Taking gentle steps to his side, England pulls Japan into his lap. He rests his cheek against Japan's, wraps his arms around his body. Japan opens his eyes, shocked; the feel of England so close is almost overwhelming. His warm breath tickling his ear, his strong hands pressing Japan's body close to his, the extreme distance he felt in the past disperses, leaving a tingling in the pit of his being.

"I understand now, but everything will be fine. The only reason I'm not letting you come with me… is because _I _can't bear the thought of losing _you,"_ says England, "The only thing that will occur will be a couple words thrown around, the only thing hurt will be feelings. There isn't any possibility of me being killed."

Japan raises his head, "Are you sure, are you positive?"

England leans his head to the side. He smiles, "I'm sure, I'm positive. Stay here, I probably won't be gone a day."

Japan looks out to the trees over the balcony wall. The sun has cleared the tops of the tall plants and glows brightly across the large stretch of water, "Okay," his voice is a breathe above a whisper, "I'll stay here, but take this." Out of the sleeve of his kimono he reveals a small sheath. It opens and inside is a small knife, the blade is long and smooth, but by the ornately carved hilt it becomes serrated. "Just in case."

England stares at the dagger held out before him, the weapon gleams in the light of the sun. The thing looked like it could cut through almost anything, be it paper, wood, human flesh… the cloth of Japan's kimono. He shakes his head, heat flushing his cheeks and filling his insides with emotion. *Not now…* He takes the knife with shaky hands, setting it on the wooden floor beside is feet, "how about this Kiku? We won't do anything until tomorrow; I won't go meeting with my Boss until then. What do you think?"

His eyes go misty and Japan nods, "hai," he leans his head against England's chest, "that sounds like a good plan."

England rubs Japan's back in circles. The soft material of his kimono is calming when he runs his hand over it. The wind picks up, blowing cool gusts at the close knit countries. It's refreshing, the wind, clearing England's mind and whisking away his worries in one fell swoop; he breathes a sigh of relief. Japan rubs England's sleeve between his index finger and thumb, then looks up when he hears England sigh. He sees the smile on his lips however, knowing then that everything will be okay. He starts to nod off, the cloth slipping from his hand and his body going lax. He closes his eyes with his head resting on England's chest, letting the windblown trees create music from their rustling leaves.

~It's late evening when Japan opens his eyes. He's lying under the covers of his bed, the blankets tucked up to his chin neatly. The orange and yellow glow from the setting sun alarms him; he sits up fast, waking up a sleep England beneath him.

"Hnn?" England mumbles groggily, "What is it Kiku?"

Japan whips around, "Huh? Oh, nothing, it's nothing. I was just confused." He puts his hand over his eyes; the sun is bright, shining right into them. He feels England's arms wrap around him from the back, and the corners of his mouth rise in a smile.

"Well, then. What had you so befuddled?" He asks.

"Despite the fact that you seemed to have appeared out of the watery grave this morning, I can't quite place my finger on it," he stretches his arms above his head, there's a popping sound in his back and he winces, "When I woke, I was surprised to find that this wasn't a dream."

"Well, maybe it's a dream come true," England laughs, the sound full of happiness.

Japan turns around to face England, "If this is a dream, I never want to wake up." He kisses England fully on the mouth, earning a surprised gasp from him. England leans back, falling onto the floor with Japan on top of him. Japan pulls England's yukata down from his shoulders, and unties his own obi, letting it drop onto the blankets, the bare skin of their chests touch, and sets off electricity in their bodies. England slides Japan's yukata down to his waist, revealing the pale skin underneath. He looks at Japan's taut stomach, then at the hem of his under-shorts. A bead of sweat runs down his neck as butterflies fill his insides.

"K-Kiku?" England asks as Japan starts kissing on his neck.

Japan stops, "Nani?"

England shakes his head, blood rushing to his cheeks, "Uh, never mind."

Shrugging Japan goes back to kissing and sucking on England's throat; he runs his fingers through his hair, playing with the hem of England's shorts, untying the loose string holding them up. England shivers when his shorts are pulled off of him and his previously hidden skin rubs up against Japan's thigh. He pulls on Japan's shorts, both of them now only covered by their yukata. The amount of skin on skin contact, nothing separating their bodies, is enticing, electrifying. Japan takes a short intake of breathe as his and England's cock run along one another. England reaches up and pulls Japan down to kiss him fiercely, Japan returns the kiss with equal passion, biting England's bottom lip. He has never been this close to anyone before, emotionally… physically; this experience is a whole new world of sensations he never thought that he would feel before, it would be an understatement to say that he wanted more. England puts his hands on Japan's hips, holding him steady as he flips him to the bottom; he runs his tongue over Japan's collar bone, Japan moans in anticipation.

"A-Arthur-kun…" Japan says breathless.

England pauses, "Really? Are you sure?"

Japan bites his lip and nods, "Hai, yes." He rolls over onto his stomach, taking off his yukata and throwing it across the room.

England positions himself over Japan, one hand on the blankets beside his head, the other on his uke's hip, his already hard penis just inches away from Japan's ass. He looks at Japan again, at his flushed face and expecting eyes, then grinds his hips downward into him. Both countries gasp loudly at the point of contact, England leans down nip Japan's ear. He trusts into Japan again, gaining gracious moans and cries for more from him. If Japan wasn't hard before, with England's breath on his neck sending chills down his spine, and him thrusting and grinding deeper into him with every second passing, he definitely is now. He turns halfway onto his side and wraps an arm around England's neck, bringing him closer to whisper in his ear.

"I love you…" In response England thrusts deep, banging against Japan's prostate.

He gives a breathy laugh, "I love you too"

Japan lies on his back now, rolling his hips with England's as he grinds into him. The next time England exits him though, Japan begins to buck his hips upwards, thrusting hard and interrupting England's procession into him. England groans, when Japan shoots his hand between their sweaty bodies and starts pumping his cock with fervidness. He tightens the muscles inside of him to create friction on Japan's cock sliding in and out of him. Both are gasping, their faces flushed and insides on fire. England bends down and licks Japan's jawline down to his chest, a tingling feeling begins in his stomach and travels down to his blood-filled arousal when he hears Japan moan loudly and feels him come inside of him. He lets out a gasp, coming himself from the heat of the moment. Japan drops his hips, panting, and England collapses on top of him. He slides off onto the floor beside Japan, rolling onto his back with a grunt. Searching with his hand, Japan entwines his fingers with England's, giving it a firm squeeze. England squeezes back, smiling to himself; he rubs his thumb in circles on the back of Japan's hand, feeling the soft skin. Outside the sky is a dark blue, the stars twinkle, the moon shines dimly. Japan rests his head on England's chest, closing his eyes and relishing in the euphoria of the moment. He sighs in contentment, no, in pure happiness. Fatigue soon creeps through his muscles and into his mind and he only has time to mumble one thing before he falls into blissful oblivion.

"Don't leave…"

~End Chapter~

Authors Note: Pfffft…. Yeah. LOL OMG ROFL, im sorry… I couldn't keep a straight face when I was writing this scene at the end. Bahahahahah oh god, I'm terrible. I may be wrong about this, but in my opinion Kiku's… kind of kinky, ha-ha. What do you expect though? This is the country that invented YAOI for crying out loud. I'm sure he wasn't the first to make gay porn but… yeah. I'm sorry, the chapter may be dull in the beginning that's where the sex scene comes in. But do not fret my friends; there shall be more action/ stuff going on in the next chapter. Speaking of chapters, there will not be many left, I am afraid that this fanfiction is coming to an end soon. Not to soon however, but there may only be 2/3 chapters left. Sad face tears…


	13. Party of Two? Where's my Reservation?

Chapter Thirteen: Party of Two? Where's My Reservation?

"_Kiku!"_

The bang of a gunshot is what wakes England. The sky still dark, Japan, using him as a body-pillow, is still fast asleep. A sheen of sweat covers England's forehead, his breathing is ragged and his hands are balled into tight fists. Dreams can do wonders for the person having them, though nightmares can send one spiraling into madness. England looks down at Japan, who is still in one piece, no bullet shot into his head by England's Boss. A sigh escapes his lips and he lays his head back on the pillow.

*What the bloody hell was that about?* Why would he have dreamt a thing like that? Right before he was to confront his Boss no less. He lays there, eyes opened wide and trained on the warm body nestled on his chest, absolutely no chance of falling back asleep. The nightmare was so vivid, so real. He and Japan had been sitting on the cliff by the ocean; the one Japan had fallen from. A masked man appeared out of the trees, a loaded pistol, cocked and ready in his hand. With one hand he had pulled off his mask, the other pointed the gun barrel at Japan. His Boss had smiled, a truly wicked smile, and then pulled the trigger. England had tried to move, use himself as a shield to protect Japan, but the bullet was faster. It buried itself in the very middle of Japan's forehead, and with fear stricken eyes, sent him tumbling over the edge of the cliff. England had jumped then, following after Japan, that's when he heard the second shot, the one that brought him back to reality.

His heart has yet to quit racing, though his breathing is more stable. Many hours still until dawn, many hours still of that image behind his eyelids. He looks down at Japan again, the purplish bruises on his lips, his black hair covering his forehead in an endearing and untidy fashion. The peace that comes from Japan's expression makes the decision England has come to concrete. He sits up carefully, gently, as to not rouse Japan, and slips out of bed. The open balcony doors let a chill breeze enter the room that covers England's naked body in goose-bumps. He shivers and walks over to Japan's wardrobe, tossing the doors of it open. Looking in at first, one would only see the ever variation of shades and colors of yukata, but dig deeper and one could discover some less conspicuous clothing, a pair of pants and a black tee-shirt. England tries to think back to see if he had ever seen Japan wear anything other than his kimono, suit, or uniform, he couldn't. He pulls on the shirt, it fits a bit snug around his chest, but Japan _is_ smaller than him after all so that is to be expected, the pants fit well enough though so he puts them on quickly.

England looks back at Japan's sleeping form. Did he really want to do this now? Did he really need to disappear in the middle of the night without a word? He really didn't want to see the devastation on Japan's face when he woke to find him gone. He couldn't do it, not now, not ever. Or would it be better this way? If he _did _go, went and got it over with. No emotional departure, but of course when he was found out Japan would be upset, that part was inevitable.

*What are you doing Arthur? This should be simple! Go now and get it done, or wait until later when he would be expecting you? If you go now you would have the upper hand, but if you dwindle to long… your Boss would be awake and ready to shoot you in the head. Do you want that? No, you don't. You want to stay alive, alive for Kiku. Yes, now would be better. If I'm quick, I could be back before Kiku even rises.* England's inner battle rages on, until the conclusion he comes to is the latter. He would go to his Boss now, finish this whole mess, and get married to Japan. Yes, leave now… just GO. But he can't move. England stands in front of Japan's closet, his hands holding tightly to the hem of his shirt, his eyes open wide. His chest tightens at the mere thought of what he plans to do. One step, then another, slowly but surely he closes the closet doors and makes his way to the balcony. The blade that Japan had beseeched him to take still lay on the wooden floor. He picks it up with nervous fingers, tucking it into the waistband of his pants; he didn't want to touch the thing. Having it with him made him think that he was calling out for a fight, but he would take it anyway. The thought strikes him and England searches the room for paper and a pencil, once found he writes a short letter to Japan, in the event that he should not return upon his waking up. England folds the note and sets it by Japan head where he would find it as soon as his eyes open.

He half hopes that Japan would wake up then and there, but soon banishes the thought from his mind. If that were to happen, the situation would be all the more difficult to stomach. England kneels down beside Japan, moving a strand of hair from his face with gentle hands. His finger-tips pause on his cheek, and without rousing, Japan's own hand comes up to hold England's. Japan whimpers, and his hold on England's hand tightens drastically. Tonight seems to be the night for nightmares, terrors of dreams. England waits until Japan drops his hand; he kisses his forehead and stands. Feeling the knife on him is slightly reassuring now, and he reminds himself that having it with him is good as he walks out of the house and into the night.

With bare feet and a determined mind, England runs down the damp asphalt in the direction of his place. It must have rained in the time he was asleep, for pot-holes filled with water await him around every turn to trip him, send him toppling to the ground in a defeated heap. Though without the frequent stops or traveling with an ill country, England sees the roof of his house in a matter of hours instead of days. He leans against a streetlamp, its cold metal biting him to the bone, and attempts catches his breath. The hairs on the back of his neck stand on end and he whips around, half expecting flying mint bunny or a drunkard, out cold in the alley, to be waiting for him, but there is no one, not a soul. England has had this feeling of being followed since he left Japan's place, he would hear the distinct snap of a twig underfoot, the quiet cough of a winded person trying to keep up with his fast pace. Every time he turned to see his assailant, there would only be trees, or dumpsters. The whole ordeal was truly nerve-racking.

*Don't be such a ninny Arthur, it may only be a homeless man looking for a hand-out, or one of your Boss's goons keeping an eye out for your return.*

England really hoped it was the former.

Looking around once more for the sight of the person trailing him, England has a realization. This is the very place that he had waited outside in the freezing rain, hoping to catch a glimpse of Japan that first night. This was the very streetlamp he had stood under with his umbrella, when Japan had run into him.

Strange, how the end starts at the beginning.

England raises his lips into a smirk; he never thought he would be here again, in this condition anyway.

With his breathing being relatively normal now, he can start running again. His house comes into full view; all the lights are off, giving the building an abandoned and desolate air. The light of the moon turns the siding bleach white, in complete contrast to the black windows. It looks foreboding to say the least, like something straight out of a horror film, one of the ones America so enjoys watching, the ones where if you enter, you can never escape.

England wipes his sweaty palms on his pant legs, *what are you doing Arthur, calm yourself. Your house is NOT haunted, it's nighttime and everyone inside is asleep with the lights off, that is all.* He nods, knowing that his logic is correct. He reaches out a trembling hand and turns the knob, letting the door swing open with a moan, *well then… a creaky door-hinge… that's always good…* England gives a nervous laugh, then takes a few steps into his former home. He shuts the door behind him, encasing himself in darkness, but being familiar with his surroundings, England strolls up the stairs by feeling his way. Down the long hallway, around the corner, a sliver of light peaks out from under the door to his study and he stops, anger filling his head for a brief moment.

*The git has taken over my private quarters! All of my poor books… just misused by that man and his conniving ways. My Shakespeare's, Dante's Seven Circles of Hell, Inferno… all of them, their pages flipped through carelessly by his meaty fingers.* England has a deep enjoyment of the classics, and treats them with respect, he detests it when someone reads them like they would any other book. For they are not, they are masterpieces. If he could, right now he would flip a table.

His table-flipping daydreams over with, England takes a deep breath to steady himself. This is it, the part where he finds out everything no-holds-barred, the truth and nothing else. England opens the door filling the hallway with the glow from the fireplace.

"Good-morning Mr. Kirkland, how have you faired? Well I hope," England's Boss sits in a chair behind a large desk, his feet are propped up on the desk-top, and his hands polish a rather new looking pistol with a cloth.

The simple question makes England's eye twitch, "You would know, seeing as you left me to drown in the middle of the Atlantic. Why exactly? I can't seem to come up with an answer for such treachery."

His Boss takes his feet off the desk, replacing them with his elbows. He leans forward, his mouth hidden behind his folded hands. The fire flickers and cracks, "The Summits."

_The Summits, _England had only heard of them once before, long before World War Two. Five powerful men, they gave the Boss's the orders that they in turn, gave to their designated countries, they controlled wars, famines, everything. The Summits were the rulers, the Summits were the law. They were the ones that could get rid of a Boss when the Boss was no good, wipe out a whole nation in the blink of an eye. Sometimes they gather together and _assess _the economies and relationships of the countries, but only rarely. Most of the time they don't come out of their places, which are hidden in some of the largest nations, they stay there unless something needs their undivided attention. You do not mess with the Summits; you do not get on their bad side, unless you want to die.

The very mention of them makes England's skin crawl, "What do the Summits have to do with this? They wouldn't get rid of me unless I did anything wrong. I have abided by the law since I became a true country, what could I have done to bring this hell upon me?"

England's Boss snickers, "Did you ask if you could be involved so much with another country? Was that ever cleared with me? With them? The Summits found out about your little _relationship_, and they didn't like it. Never before has one country such as you been so much trouble, not even Italy has been targeted by the Summits before, even though he and Germany have gotten married."

England slams his hands on the desk, making his Boss jump, "Why _me _then? Last I heard Italy and Germany didn't get it cleared with the Summits either, just their Boss's! Why are Kiku and I being messed with?"

"They said that yours and Mr. Honda's marriage wasn't beneficial for either of you! When the Queen found out about this she was frightened, she wanted the problem to go away. But the problem couldn't go away unless the engagement was called off, but that would never have happened now would it? Japan's Boss was against the whole thing from the start, he didn't want to be involved with the Summits any more than he had to. Then, a few weeks ago… an order came, directly from the Summits. They wanted me to get rid of you since you weren't going very well as a country at the moment and the future for you didn't look promising."

That was a shocker, an unbeneficial marriage? What about love? Didn't that matter anymore to any one? And what was this about England's future? Would the Summits have cut him off the map anyhow? Did he just endanger Japan by getting close? This would have happened anyway?

England takes a few steps back, confused. Yes, his economy wasn't the best it could be at the moment, but it was getting a bit better. Little by little he was coming back into the green, it was just taking a wee bit longer than he thought it would, but he was doing everything he could at the moment.

His Boss goes back to cleaning his pistol, looking up at England every few seconds, his lips pursed. England just stands there however, his mouth hanging open slightly. His Boss gets up out of the chair and drops the now dirty cloth on the desk. He raises the weapon.

"Terribly sorry for this Arthur, I do wish that we could have worked it out."

England hears the door beside him open and assumes that it's only his Boss's minions standing at the ready, prepared to hold him down if he were to fight. Why did he come here again? Oh… yes, he wanted answers, and it seems that he got them didn't he?

The last coherent thought England has before he hears the deafening shots, feels the pain of being pushed against the wall by something, as a gun is being fired, is *why did I bring a knife to a gun fight?*

~End Chapter~

Authors Note: Yes yes, I know. Summits? What? Since when? Well since now… I needed there to be an organization or something that was even more powerful than the Boss's, something that would give them the orders and such. The Summits seemed like something plausible. Kind of reminds me of the Kage from Naruto. _Some Serious Stuff Is Happening Here!_


	14. The Truth behind the Mask

Chapter Fourteen: The Truth behind the Mask

*Why is it so cold here?* Japan shivers and curls into a little ball under the covers. He opens his eyes to an empty room, and a sheet of paper folded and placed neatly on the pillow beside his head. He reaches out for it:

_Kiku,_

_It is with deepest regret that I do this to you now. But as you can plainly see, that if you are reading this that I am not there when you wake. I cannot explain it even to myself why I chose to confront my Boss so early, and without telling you first no less. Please do not fret for me; I assure you that my safety is of no question. Though if the situation should arise where my life were threatened, I am prepared, for I have armed myself with the blade you gifted me. I shall return to you soon._

_With the dearest of affections to you,_

_Arthur_

Japan traces his fingers over the sophisticated cursive that is England's penmanship. *Oh Arthur-kun, what did you do now?* He tosses back the blankets and ignores the freezing wind coming in through the open balcony doors, summer is ending and autumn is rearing its head. He throws on the first thing he touches, a pair of white pants from his official Nation's uniform and some black boots, no time to search for a shirt, then starts running to England's aid.

~England's hand shoots up to pat at his chest. Why was there no bullet lodged in him? No blood, no pain? He looks up; his Boss is slumped against the desk, his hand clutching the bloody cloth above his heart. In front of England is a man, holding a pistol, directed at his Boss. The man turns to face him and England lets out a gasp.

The man standing before him, who had shot his own Boss, is Japan's Boss.

Japan's Boss drops to one knee, his hand holding his chest. Ruby blood seeps between his fingers and he collapses onto the floor. It seems that Japan's Boss had come in right before England's had shot to kill, both had fired at each other within seconds of the other, Japan's Boss saving England's life in the process by taking the bullet aimed at him. England stares, dumbfounded, and then rushes to Japan's Boss's side. Japan's Boss groans, but when he looks up and sees England kneeling above him, his eyes fill with determination. He pulls England's shirt collar down to where England's ear is inches away from his mouth. When he speaks, it's strained, breathy, and through gritted teeth.

"Don't b-believe a word that man says to you," he coughs, blood splatters across England's cheek, "the Summits had nothing to do with this… he-he didn't want them involved… never told them anything… I'm sorry. I know that I was… a terrible Boss to Mr. Honda, b-but I never want to see him suffer… like he did when he thought you were dead… I got your engagement… I got it approved, by the Summits themselves. I'm probably being selfish this way… but to make up for-for my past wrongs to him… I needed to make sure you got back to him safely. I followed you, you know… from the house… your Boss told me what he was up to. He said that he didn't want you to be a country anymore, didn't like the responsibility of being your Boss. He-he wanted to control a different country, someone less t-troublesome as he put it… he made up everything about the Summits wanting you dead, the truth is they don't care," he pauses, his breathing becoming wheezing as he tries to force air in and out of his lungs, "maybe the Summits will hire you a new, better Boss… and one for Mr. Honda… you could surely use one… T-tell Mr. Honda… tell him that he was a good country. Tell him; tell him that I'm sorry… and that… that I hope he will be hap -." The endearing words are cut short, party from his continuing coughing and gasping for what little oxygen he can obtain in his state, but then, infinitely from the stopping of his heart. Japan's Boss's hand falls limply from England's shirt, the last sparks of light drain from his eyes, leaving them a dull onyx.

There is infinite, deafening silence in the room afterwards. Even the fire has lost all noise and passion. Something clicks in England's brain and he stands, taking the gun from the dead Boss at his feet. He stands in front of his Boss, retrieving his weapon as well. With the first gun he shoots once, the bullet leaves a hole in the middle of the lifeless body in front of him. He shoots again, and again, until the gun is empty and he throws it out the window. He aims the other, laughter bubbles in his chest and escapes out his lips in maniacal bursts, rising in volume and insanity as he injects his Boss with more and more ammunition. Blood explodes everywhere with every new hole made, drenching England, and his desk, and his precious books, and the gun, and the floor. Everything is red; everyone is laughing now, even the mangled remains of the human leaning against the desk, even the innocent person lying on the floor with light-less eyes, but especially England. They all laugh; when the pistol empties they continue to laugh, when England holds it so tightly in his hands the skin on his knuckles tears from the strain and his blood mixes with the blood already on him and the floor, they laugh.

The laughter simmers down to a chuckle, which transforms to demented giggling on England's part. He sinks to his knees, head bent and shoulders rising and falling quickly from the sounds his body is making. The gun slips through his quivering fingers and clatters to the floor, England stops giggling, just sits there in the gore, in complete and utter quiet.

~The toe of Japan's boot catches on the curb, he falls the ground, landing in a puddle of muddy water. His pants are stained now, but he could care less. All he wanted was to get to England, before something awful happened to him. How long did it take to get to his place again? Days if he remembered correctly, but he was lost then, and sick. Given his condition now, the journey back should only take hours, if he could keep running at this pace. Do not stop, do not dawdle, focus on your breathing like the doctor said, keep your mind on your footsteps. It's working, Japan can forget the pain in his legs, and the stinging scrapes on his bare torso and face. The scar on his chest throbs, he had forgotten to take his medication again, but he couldn't think about that now, only England.

*Breath Kiku… keep breathing, keep going. You can make it… you have to make it, he needs you.*

~The front door of Japan's place is open as China strolls up the winding path. That was odd, never once had his younger brother left the door open. It feels as though a stone has been dropped into China's stomach when he goes into the house, up the stairs, and into Japan's room to search for him. He picks up England's letter, reading it twice, three times, before it strikes him like a slap to the cheek. China shakes his head and sighs in annoyance.

"He could have at least come to get me before he went running off to save his incompetent lover…" he mutters, severely irritated.

Going into the kitchen to make tea, China sees the plastic cup of those three pills sitting forgotten on the counter by the sink. He sighs again, *just take your pills Kiku, it's not that hard,* then pours himself a steaming cup of tea.

~Japan hugs the streetlamp tightly, takes large gulps of air. He was surprised that he hadn't run into anybody on his way here, not Russia, not even China. The streets were eerily empty and devoid of life, even animals. The sky is overcast, and the color said that it was past noon. Japan wishes that he could run faster. He wishes that his and England's places weren't so far apart; he wishes that… he wishes that England were here now, that he wasn't probably tied to a chair with the barrel to a gun resting at his temple as Japan imagines he is.

*Don't think that way; you can't know what's happening. For all you know… Arthur could be on his way back to your house now, safe and sound, humming a merry tune.* The thought is reassuring, and Japan lets go of the streetlamp, continuing on his way with renewed vigor.

~How many hours have passed? While England traces patterns in the bloody mess the time has become meaningless. He doesn't enjoy thinking about time. When he does, time gets his brain working, remembering the different times he had seen the look of fury in his Boss's eye when he looked at him. The time it took for him to get back to Japan after he had been dumped in the ocean like a worthless piece of garbage. How many times Japan's Boss had coughed and wheezed before his heart gave out. No, England didn't want to think about the time right now. Therefore he sits, unaware that he has been there for more than eleven hours already, unaware that the longer he stayed the more anxious Japan was getting. Japan, sweet, innocent Japan, who knew nothing of the things that conspired under the surface here. On the underbelly of the political world that the Bosses and Summits were part of, that the countries themselves were kept out of. How cruel ignorance could be, yet stupidity was crueler still. Being aware of the situation and not being able to do anything about it as you watch it unfold. England is glad that he was ignorant of everything. If he knew the truth before today, he would have killed his Boss himself, and then become a direct target of the Summits. And where would he be then? Dead… he would be dead; yes he is very grateful for ignorance.

~The clouds part and the sun brings its warmth and light as soon as Japan touches his fingertips to the knob of England's door. The instant heat on his back is nice, boiling the blood in his veins, making opening the door easier. The inside of the house is cold however, and dark. Japan takes soft steps up the stairs until he reaches the partly open door of the study. The scent of blood is overwhelming and fills his body with iron fear. He sticks a hand out, curiosity getting the better of him, letting the door swing free on its hinges, revealing the horror inside.

The glow from the dying embers casts shadows over all. The first thing Japan notices, is the color, the red, the blood. It covers everything, like paint, thick and bright. The second are the bodies, first his Boss's, then the unidentifiable carcass slumped in front of the blood soaked desk. The third and final thing Japan sees is England. England hadn't turned when Japan had entered, he didn't notice anything except the fading fire, and even that was in the back of his mind now. He felt numb, like his body was dropped into a bathtub filled with icy water.

"A-Arthur-kun…" Japan whispers. He treads with caution to England's side, his hand hovering over his shoulder, not sure if he should touch him.

England raises his head, his eyes are blank, the emerald now a dull moss. This frightens Japan, the drastic change.

"Kiku," England's voice is a monotone, "what are you doing here luv?"

Japan shakes his head, "I could ask of you the same thing. What happened here, why are you soaked to the bone with blood?"

A smile crosses England's mouth, and odd spark fills his eyes, "truth, and death."

The way he said the words makes Japan's skin crawl. Truth and death? He can see the death, it was obvious, but what about the truth?

"Are you okay? You're not acting your usual self Arthur," Japan leaves of the honorific. A silent motion that expresses his concern, if England notices at all, he doesn't show it.

"Acting like myself…" he rolls the words around his tongue, trying them out, "hmm, you could be right. I feel… odd, like I'm outside looking in. Different." He pouts and furrows his brow, "I do not enjoy it."

England wraps his arms around Japan, pulling him into his lap, "I'm sorry, this is my entire fault. I was just pulling you down into hell with me. I'm sorry I didn't notice sooner, you would never have gotten hurt."

"What are you talking about Arthur-san? Hell? How is any of this your fault?" Japan looks into England's eyes, searching for answers his love had not said.

"My Boss never liked me you know; he never wanted me to be his country. Your Boss did though; he said that he was mean, and that he was sorry. He wanted me to tell you that you were a good country. Then he died, I saw it, I was right there and I couldn't do a thing about it. He shot my Boss and saved my life, then he was gone…" he takes a shudder breath then continues, "my Boss was a liar, he said the Summits wanted me dead because of our engagement, but that was a lie. He was a dirty selfish pig. It's my fault though, I could have been less troublesome, could have listened more. I'm sorry you got hurt because of my stupidity."

What happens next is completely unanticipated. Japan looks at England, his face enraged. The stoic country rarely showed anger, but now, it was no holds barred. The emotion he feels right now is explosive. It was the kind that at any moment it would make him burst, hurting something or someone, either way it would be painful. He lifts his hand high in the air, and slaps England across the face. It's a loud sound, like the crack of lightning, clear and cruel and echoes around the room. England is shocked, the stinging in his cheek waking him from his brooding. His face throbs achingly, and he stares at Japan, stunned, his now emerald eyes wide and asking, but Japan does not falter in his anger as he speaks loudly.

"You think that this is _your_ fault?!" he spits out, "because I can tell you it's not! It is _not _your fault Arthur Kirkland!"

Yelling? Since when did Japan yell? It scared England, right down to his core.

"Do you understand me? You are not the cause for anything that has happened!" Japan grabs England's shoulders and gives him a rough shake. Through the fury, desperation to get the words into England's head surfaces and wet hot tears pour out of Japan's eyes and down his cheeks, "It's not your fault, really it isn't. It was your Boss's and no one else's, do not blame yourself because he was a selfish _teme!_"

"B-but-"

"Iie! None of that! I do not want to hear a single 'but' come from your mouth!"

England blinks, his lips pressed tightly together. He doesn't know what to do; all he can do is listen as Japan yells out more and more reasons explaining how it's not his fault in the slightest. In the end he settles with catching Japan's flailing wrists in midair with his hands and pulling him close, pressing his lips to his. Japan tastes like salt and smells like fresh rain, the rain that is desperately needed after a drought, and England needs the rain terribly. He breathes the scent of Japan in, letting go of his arms and hugging him to his chest.

The kiss is rough, and Japan likes it that way. He runs his hand up of England's shirt, feeling the taut muscles of his abdomen, the other cupping the base of his neck to deepen the kiss. The minutes tick by, now that England was aware of time once more, amazingly slow. He is happy; he doesn't want this moment to end. But end it does, when both countries part gasping for air and remembering their surroundings.

"We need to contact the Summits," England says when Japan untwists his legs from around his body.

Japan nods, "hai… let them take care of this mess."

"Say Japan?"

"Nani? What is it Arthur-kun?" Japan looks at England, the concerned look in his eyes returning.

"When we get back home, would you like to have some tea?" England's cheeks flush with pink and he looks out the window.

Japan smiles, "Of course. I would love that." Home sounded like the perfect remedy to the end of this adventure.

~End Chapter~

~End Fanfiction~

Author's Note: For all you fans out there that assumed I would kill of Arthur… it makes me sad that you would think that. I said in the description for this fanfiction that the ending would not be a tragedy… did I lie? Nope, I thought not. XD I love the characters too much to just destroy their happiness. Thank you to all of the fans that stuck it out with me to the end, I truly appreciate your reviews and support through-out this endeavor. *Bows low* Arigatou!


	15. Epilogue

Epilogue: Loves Stories Deserve a Happy Ending

When the sun rose a full year after Japan and England's original Bosses were killed, it was with a happy note followed by the singing of birds high in the sky. Japan sits beside England, his head resting comfortably on his shoulder, sipping from a cup filled with tea. The Summits were very understanding of the events that had transpired without their notice, and had hired a joint Boss for the two countries since neither England nor Japan were willing to live in separate houses. The two did eventually have their wedding. It was a small affair, only so many people attended, but it was perfect for them. Japan hasn't had another attack, partly because he remembers his medication, and partly because his life is now virtually stress free. England still quarrels with his brother and France, but makes an effort not to cause _too much_ trouble for his Boss or himself though there are often a few fists flying around when the simple snarky comment from France turns into a full out brawl between the two. All in all, they live happy and content in each other's company, enjoying the simplicities of their lives.

Final Note from the Author: This universe was lovely while it lasted, but I must bid you farewell for now. It is to be expected I'm afraid, for I am to be starting high school soon and will have little time for my love of fanfictions. *cries* I promise, that as soon as my schedule lightens that I will jump back into the water with more fanfics. So keep a look out for more by Hospitable-Insanity in the near future. Feel free to PM me with suggestions for later stories.

Reviews and comments make AsaKiku happy.


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